Conspiracy Theory

What if it's all just in my mind? I mean, what if I have no addiction to caffeine?

This is a though that suddenly occurred to me yesterday after I finished with the day's blog post. It seemed at first that my misery was based on a very physical chemical dependency. I was an addict, much like any recovering junkie, who was looking for a fix. I had cleaned it out of my body, but not my mind. But what if it was never in my mind at all?

Suppose the effects I am feeling now are being caused entirely by my mind, which is simply used to the habit of drinking coffee and is upset that I am breaking the routine. Routine is something I believe strongly in, a way of reprogramming the mind. For instance, if you want to be less shy at a party, you chew gum and say over and over again to yourself that the gum helps you to be less shy. If you say it over and over again, you convince yourself it's true, simply through repetition.

However, this is a deliberate act I perform. What if I was doing something similar with coffee unconsciously? You see, whenever I drink coffee, it is usually to help me relax. A bit contradictory, I know. But I tend to drink it during my leisure time. So maybe I convinced myself that I need coffee in order to relax and I can't properly relax without it. My mind is freaking out, and over nothing! Perhaps this is more akin to a smoker needing to keep their mouth busy after they quit.

The Chicory drink has stopped working so well for me. I have slowly been adding more and more teaspoons of the concoction to every cup I drink, in order to give it a stronger flavour. But now, the taste is very strong but not in any way improved. And since I drink it constantly, I am already sick of it. It doesn't keep well, and to drink it cold is abominable.

So that's where we're at: I'm making up crackpot theories about caffeine addiction and drinking muddy cold concoctions. 20 more days folks!