Final Thoughts

Here we are, on the last day! I'm not going to lie, I had a lot of close calls and near misses this month. I can't be certain,  but I know a couple of my meals out might have had sugar. Not for sure, but it's ambiguous.

Have I learned anything? Yes. There are a few lessons to be had from this process so far, and I had I would share them with you.

1. Sugar is in Everything
I've mentioned this a million times but sugar is in virtually all processed foods in a million different ways, to make bland unhealthy more palatable, or as a preservative.

Sometimes it's obvious, and easy to avoid. Sometimes it's not (see ketchup, tomato sauce, a bunch of seasonings, etc.). Dessert is actually the least of the sugary things I need to avoid, because it's obvious that a cookie has sugar. Not so with a burger but they often do.

2. Sugar is as addictive as cigarettes
I can't say for sure; I've never smoked. But the cravings I've had this last month have convinced me I had a chemical dependency/addiction issue with sugar. Hopefully I've kicked it now; but I'm not completely sure.

3. No dessert is no big deal
Contrary to what I just said, missing dessert was tough at first but you grow accustomed to it quickly. I missed dessert but not so much it was really a problem. It was the incidental sugar hidden that I really missed. Not to say I didn't miss dessert. But I could do without.

And that brings us to the end of a savory month. Tomorrow we begin our challenge! February is...no caffeine month! My stomach us churning just thinking about it!!

Polite Company

I know I promised the next post would be all about the next month, but I had one more in the chamber, something I haven't really talked much about: living without sugar in society.

For the most part, it's been very simple to avoid sweet things. People are very likely to accept a polite refusal if I am offered a candy/dessert/sugary temptation. Not so with liquor. For whatever reason, it is seen as extremely rude to turn down a drink if offered, especially if someone offers to buy you one. I mean, it's not taboo or anything, but people kind of look at you funny. It's as though you are rejecting them as a person or something.

Frankly, it also sucks to be that guy when you're out with a group of friends. In most polite company as adults, you will eventually find yourself at a bar, or at least somewhere that serves liquor. And everyone knows that guy or gal who's at a bar and orders a coke. Or a juice. Or a water! Lame. While they certainly don't mean to  be this can be a major buzz kill. I've been that guy all month!

I love to eat and to try new foods, and so it's been killing me to turn down delicious looking foods when I think there might be sugar involved but can't be sure. But I've been doing it, in the spirit of the holy blog compact I've made with you all. I hope you appreciate the efforts I go to for you!

It's All In The Mind!

So close, and yet so far. With practically one day left, and I am instead forced to think about next month. While this month I started with a simple challenge and made it more difficult, the coming month will a hard challenge. No doubt about it. Today, I bought the one and only thing to help me through it (More on that to follow tomorrow).

I realized last night when I was at a local coffee shop that I had basically forgotten all about the pastry case that is ubiquitous in all coffee shops. Well, maybe not forgotten. But my brain has unconsciously made me ignore it. I am aware of it, but my subconscious just kind of says "Oh that? Not for you. Pay no attention.", and I actually can. I thought this was a breakthrough of sorts. But can you really call it a breakthrough this close to the end?

With that piece of information alone, I'd say no. Yet today, when I was in a similar situation (i.e. the coffee house and the pastry case), I stopped and had a look at it. I was vaguely interested, but frankly I had no interest. I know I have been talking a big game about a sugar binge the moment this is all over, but now I am not so sure. I'm not even sure I'll be able to handle the sweetness of some things after this. But it will be nice to be able to drink again, and to not restrict my diet so severely (did you know almost all pizza sauces have sugar in them? It's true! I've been dying for a slice!). So I guess that's what I'm really looking forward to: an unrestricted diet again!

Well, almost unrestricted..stay tuned until tomorrow, when I reveal the next big challenge, and my thoughts and conclusions during this long, cold, and mostly savory January!

The End is Nigh!

Even though I am still craving things I can't have, it is no longer such a big deal. I mean, in a way, the cravings are worse than ever. My body seems to know the month is almost up, and is really raging as a result. I want what I can't have more than ever.

But it isn't an issue. How could it be? I'm so close to the end that I have to persevere just so I can say I did, and so the last month has not been for nothing. I can focus in on what I want, and channel that desire into pure motivation for the victory lap. The end is in sight, and out of spite I will cross that finish line. It certainly has been interesting.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pumpkin pie and a chocolate cheesecake to devour in my imagination.

Cravings Continued

I miss chocolate milk.

Not just the regular kind, but the soy kind. If you've never had it, it had a nutty texture that blends with the chocolate taste even better than regular chocolate milk (which i also adore). I miss mochas, coffee with chocolate in it, hot chocolate, and various other things that contain chocolate.

I LOVE chocolate. I can eat it all the time. It's my go-to sugary treat of choice, and I will eat it like a madman if no one is around to stop me. In fact, that's one of the reasons I decided to start this challenge by giving up sugar. As many of you do, I received a box of chocolate wafers fro Christmas. Before New Year's eve, I had nearly eaten all of them. That's a problem. Well, not that in and of itself, but the fact I couldn't be satiated by it. I didn't want a mounting sugar craving to envelop me.

So besides the sugar that I found permeating a lot of the food I would buy, I was also biding farewell to chocolate this month, first and foremost. That's where the real difficulty came from, at least I think so. I have never been one for candy or other sugary things (desserts excluded, of course; I don't even particularly like jams).And I don't drink sugary drinks or sodas all that much.

So when I took my first bite of that wonderful sugarless chocolate, I realized what I had really given up. Chocolate. I missed it, craved it in a way I hadn't really known until I tasted it again. It's the reason that I could give up sugar for a month, but not for a lifetime.

I don't love sugar; I don't love chocolate either. But I come damn close to needing it.

Whose-it-tol? Maltitol!

The discovery of a sugarless chocolate has completely changed the game this month. Although I definitely feel like I'm still lacking, I am able to satiate my cravings at least. Since I am obsessed today, I figured I would a little more about it

For those who want to know, the chocolate was made with maltitol, a natural sugar substitute. It doesn't cause the same spike on the glycemic index as does natural sugar, but it still has a higher number than, say, sugar (to clarify: on the glycemic index, a measure of sugar content, actual sugar scores a 100 out of 100. Glucose from fruit scores about a 15, while maltitol scores around 35). It is thought to be low calorie alternative to sugar and has about 3/4 of the sweetness of regular sugar, meaning you can substitute it very easily. Most interesting (at least to me), it apparently does not react to the bacteria in a person's mouth the same way sugar does, so it does not cause tooth decay. It's even low in calories!

But there must be a downside, right? Well, some people do experience fit of flatulence, diarrhea, or bloating. It can react badly to the natural bacteria in the intestine if over consumed. As with anything, moderation is key. That's sort of the theme of this whole blog, come to think of it.  

Let me be perfectly clear: I still love sugar and plan t go right on eating it when this month is over. But it's good to know there are options out there that can solve a craving without a crazy sugar high.

Cravings May Vary

Some highs and some lows today. We went out for brunch , and after braving the awful blood chilling cold, I was disheartened to find I couldn't eat half of the brunch options. I settled on the Lumberjack, a tasty super sampler platter that had bacon, sausage, eggs, home fries, and a pancake. I can honestly say I've never had a pancake before this month that didn't have either maple syrup, jam, or icing sugar on it. But I have really grown accustomed to it, and actually look forward to it.

The whole meal was delightful,  but I found myself left with a serious craving for something sweet. I forgot to mention, the reason we ended up at this particular brunch spot was their delicious scones. In which I could not partake, since I plum forgot about the sugar in them. So I was restless again, trying to fill a craving that couldn't be filled any other way. I drank coffee like a fish, stopped in a million stores, and was generally unhappy.

When we finally settled down to dinner, I had a happy surprise. The dip that came with the fries I ordered was a delicious dill and garlic combination, made without sugar, which I happily devoured. But it was after we had left that we stopped into the local choclatier and I was truly elated. At Soma (the name of this delightful chocolate shop) they make all their chocolate in house, and to dazzling effect. While sitting morosely on a bench and trying desperately not to look at anything that my girlfriend made a terrific discovery: sugar-free chocolate!

I snapped it up immediately. Made with a natural sugar substitute, the chocolate was rich and tasty and to my now unaccustomed palette almost too sweet. But it was a great joy to find. It's funny, because I can still recognize how very unsweetened the chocolate is, but it still nearly overwhelmed with flavor and sweetness. This far into my personal challenge, and I'm still learning new things!
 

Results May Vary

Today I tightened my belt, and realized I could tighten it an extra notch. That means I must have lost weight. Now, I can't say for certain if it's a lack of sugar in my life that has caused this. On the one hand, I have been making a conscious effort to get out and walk more. Every day, I have made it a point to walk to work and home again, a journey that takes just under an hour both ways. I know this is definitely having an impact.

However, I also know my eating habits have getting more and more atrocious as the month has continued. The more I have a sugar craving, the more likely I am to lean on a salty or fatty snack. In fact, I'd say I probably eat worse in some ways than I did before, since I don't feel the need to eat a balanced meal as much to counteract the dessert. Even though I know it's not true, I think subconsciously my brain is convincing me that anything I eat that doesn't have sugar is somehow fine. I guess the best you can really hope for is to manage your vices sensibly so they don't get out of control.

At the end of the day, I can definitely say I've lost some weight, even if I am eating worse than before. If sugar is not the cause, it's at least a positive contributing factor. So whatever the reason, I'm chalking that fact up as proof this month has been a success so far. Just 1 week left!

Big Plans

I have been dreaming of sugar, and what I'll have once I am able to consume sugar again. I'm a pie lover, so I anticipate a full pie, maybe cherry, or apple or...strawberry rhubarb! Yes, that's the one. Maybe I'll just eat sugary things until I puke; I'll need something to tide me over until next month's challenge is over.

There will be hot chocolate, and maybe cookies too! Today someone told about a new concept I'd never heard of before, called "Sugaring". Apparently, it's a Quebecois thing. You eat a meal (breakfast it seemed like) and just cover the whole thing in sugar or maple syrup. What a delightful way that would be to finish off a month without!

This is assuming I'll be able to handle it. After going that long without sugar, even the simplest foods may be way too sugary for me. I recall that happening from the last time.

And I can add sugar or syrup to my coffee again! Mocha is my favorite. I tried adding artificial sweetener to my coffee, but I gave it up pretty quickly. Splenda, at least, has a weird chemically aftertaste to which I can't grow accustomed. I know what you're going to say! What about blue agave? In the interests of fairness, I decided not to use blue agave either, since I am uncertain whether it counts or not. Besides, it's too much of an out, and would leave this blog a lot less interesting ('Impossible!' I'm sure you're screaming at your computer).

About which sugary delight do you dream?

Sweeter still

Fruit tastes much sweeter now. I think. I've lost perspective, I think, on what sugar actually tastes like at this point. Because I have been avoiding it so strenuously, I am kind of uncertain about whether I have been tasting sugar in my food or merely thinking I am. I keep believing or fearing there's sugar in what I'm eating, and I'm not sure if my mind is being fooled or not; after all, a lack of sugar may mean my palette has become super sensitive to it and can detect it more easily. So when I eat something that has natural sugars, I am not sure if I am just tasting it as it actually is or if my body is merely tricking me into eating sugar. A banana is the new candy.

Maintaining Focus

I get bored very easily. I always need to change my stimuli, or I find I get very restless and irritable. I always carry around a book, a cell-phone, and a pad of paper so I never lack a variety of different things to do. Being bored is one of the worst feelings in the world, and only leads to other, more negative emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. So I try to keep busy.

Whenever I have tried to start adding a new habit, challenge or what have you, I find I start off very strong, and am very much able to maintain it. At least, at first. The very trickiest thing, as some of you know,  is starting anything. I usually don't have any problems with that, more maintaining. I Can make a concentrated effort for awhile, but then it's as though I simply run out of steam at some point. Having recently had this epiphany, I realize it's the reason I kind of give up on things I start. For instance, I recently tried to do National Novel Writing Month and found I hit a wall in the process around day 21 or so. It's the same with going sugarless: I reach a point where the novelty starts to wear off and I am simply bored of it. 

This doesn't mean I've given up, but it's tempting. Too tempting. I'm starting to understand why people not only have trouble starting things, but also quitting things. Really, it could go either way. Trying to form a new habit is just as difficult as trying to break an old one. It only happens with repetition. 

Or maybe the sugar is making me crazy.

An Honest Mistake?

At this point, I'm starting to wonder if I actually had a problem with sugar at the beginning of the month. I was certainly over consuming the stuff, but I don't know that I actually had a physical need for it the way I thought I did.

This doesn't mean I think this was a fruitless effort on my part. At the very least, it's forcing me to reconsider the things I eat, pay closer attention to the labels, and actually ask questions about the food I'm going to eat if I'm not sure. Whenever I have done this, people are more than happy to answer. If they're not, you probably shouldn't be eating there anyway, right?

Tonight I had sushi at a local restaurant. Now, sushi should be a safe bet, but in this case I ordered a couple of different types that shouldn't have had sugar (as the menu made no mention of any kind of a sauce or sweetening agent), but that nonetheless had a familiar twang to my mouth. There was a sauce added to the roll that I wasn't aware would be present and was buried in the centre. I felt..something. And a slight pain in my teeth.

Even now, I feel a bit of a dull ache in the backs of my mouth, which I think is due to sugar. It was particularly cold out there (-16 celsius or so), and we walked about half an hour, so it's possible my teeth are merely cold sensitive. I did notice a tingling when I drank some cold water, for instance.

Furthermore, when I last attempted to do this, I could scarcely eat anything that had sugar for the first couple of days. I even switched away from regular peanut butter, because it tasted extra sweet, like someone spread a spoonful of sugar across my toast. When I ate this sushi, I didn't get any of that sensation. It merely tasted good, as all sushi does.

It raises an interesting question, one I failed to address because I failed to consider it: What do I do if I am in a situation where I have no choice at all but to consume the forbidden fruit? Also, what do I do if I simply make an honest mistake? I certainly didn't think there would be sugar in a maki roll, and I'm not sure there had been. But what if there was?

Simple Syrups

I keep forgetting I'm also not drinking this month. I mean, I am aware of it, but it isn't as top of mind as the lack of sugar has been. But I realize now I've scarcely spoken of it.

The difference between a lack of sugar and a lack of alcohol is I don't feel as though I have a dependency on liquor in the same way. Liquor is not a vice for me, not the kind of gnawing, craving that I have had for sugar. Except in times of extreme sadness, I never REALLY want a drink in the same way.

So why did I ban it this month?

Well, to be honest, I simply wanted to do away with it for awhile, and typically I have done this sort of thing in January before: some years I have given up all booze in January, or simply beer, or wine, etc. As well, I felt it would be cheating to allow myself to drink the by-product of sugar in the form of alcohol but not have actual sugar. It feels like one of those technicalities I could escape on and abhor. I want to try and stay as true as possible to the spirit of this, instead of the letter of it.

So how has the lack of alcohol been? Fine, I guess. I don't really think about it much, to be honest. I actually really enjoy drinking too; I'm not someone who only has an occasional beer. I do like it, but it's never been a problem for me to just not drink for awhile.

That doesn't mean I don't have cravings. A couple of times, I have been out and on the verge of ordering a beer and had to stop myself. Because it isn't as top of mind for me as the rest of the potential sugars, I tend to forget about it. My boss wanted me to try a sample of a new beer we had at work, and I almost knocked it back before I caught myself.

As I may or may not have mentioned, I love trying new foods and drinks, and when I arrive at a place where one of these is on offer my impulsive desire is to try it immediately. Such was the case tonight as we went for Polish food in the city's west end. They had several brands of Polish beer on offer, and I desperately wanted to try one. But I couldn't.

As mentioned previously, I am fairly lacking in impulse control. But whereas a lack of sugar affects my everyday life, a lack of sugar just affects my impulsivity.

Resisting Temptation

I had some chicken fingers the other night. Now, if you've ever had chicken fingers before, they always,  always come with plum sauce. This all sugar sauce is the perfect dip for the salty deep fried treat.

And of course, I couldn't eat it. No biggie by this point. Some of the sauce had spilled, and in order to decontaminate the rest of the food I separated it. But some of the sauce got on my fingers, and I unconsciously went to lick it off my fingers. I caught myself and tried to wipe it off. I didn't get it all, and again went to lick it off my fingers. Again I caught myself and wiped it off, but absentmindedly went to shove my fingers in my mouth. This series of events made me crazy, frustrated, and ready to quit.

But why? What made me feel so ridiculously anxious over such a banal event?

I wondered about this, and I came to a realization about myself. I'm very impulsive by nature and very short on planning. I'm not all id, but definitely short on superego. While I'm certainly not disorganized, I am very disinclined to make anything beyond the most basic preparations for any event or activity.

This extends into my eating habits as well. I don't plan at all. I go by my cravings and eat whatever suits my fancy. My diet is generally not great, but I keep active so it generally evens out. Mostly. Or I like to believe.

But restricting my diet has forced me to break this life-long habit, and you know what they about habits. I am remarkably unused to having limitations placed upon me. I hate waiting, and will leave restaurants if there is any sort of line.  I even get annoyed if I'm in a crowd and can't walk at my natural pace, unreasonably so.

I am trying to break a mental dependency, not a chemical one. It is very, very difficult for me at times and I believe is the reason I have low moments. When you're at home and can easily control your diet, no problem, But when you're out in the world and have to grab a bite, it can be very difficult. Often, employees at restaurants and food court kiosks have no idea whether or not there's sugar in the food. I don't mean to disparage them in any way; I've worked in restaurants for a long while, and couldn't tell half of the ingredients in the food I serve. But sugar is so ubiquitous in our food, you can really never be certain.

I encountered this problem at lunch yesterday at a mall food court. I am a huge eater, and need a large amount of lunch. I could find no options that I could definitively say were sugar-free. As I've learned, you can never be too sure, especially where large franchises are concerned. In the end, I ate nothing, not able to find an option that would suit me.

Which brings me back to the chicken fingers. I felt so utterly defeated in that plum sauce encrusted moment from what I perceived as a lack of options. You can get it out of your body, but you can't get it out of your soul.

 

I Daydream of Sugar

Last night I had a dream about eating sugar. Yes, I've progressed to the point of having sugar night terrors. Don't judge unless you've been there; this is not a pretty sight. I reckon my body is finally aware of my total lack of unnatural sugar and has begun to silently sabotage me from the inside, planting suggestions and latent cravings that will spring on me suddenly, seemingly without rhyme or reason. Whenever my mind wanders, whenever I'm not specifically thinking of other things, I invariably daydream about sugary treats.

Today I was doing some grocery shopping, and found myself wandering the cookie aisle, trying (in vain) to find a sugarless brand of cookie that would satiate my desires. None could be found, In my desperation, I had purchased a couple of sugarless cookies from the cafe a few hours earlier, to accompany my latte. They were not so much cookies as  they were biscuits, the sort I imagine grim cowboys watching the dusty freezing plains would stoically chew to fend off starvation. Only smaller.

My dream was very simple: I was preparing to order a coffee at a cafe, and was busy chatting with someone (I don't know who, and in that crazy dream logic way it didn't matter) and placed my order without thinking. Or rather, thinking but not saying my order. When I received my drink at the espresso bar, I tasted it and found it was sugary. I was initially aghast but, since I had already broken the taboo, I gave up and just drank it. It was cinnamon flavored. Or chocolate. Or vanilla or caramel. All of those sound right.

I think I've become sugar crazed.

In Which I Am Sorely Tested Again

Today I went to a farmer's market. While there, one of the vendors offered me a delicious looking concoction. They were selling fresh chocolate for drinking and baking. It was an experiment to see if he could successfully mix the drinking chocolate with beer and create a tasty new beverage. This was done on honour of the host (the market was being held at a local brewery, Steam Whistle).

Chocolate and beer are both not kosher right now, so I was stumped. I had already eagerly agreed to try it, and could not just walk away (one of the other vendors was a friend and my girlfriend was chatting with him. I was stuck. I felt slightly panicky, like I was about to break the law.

But then it hit me: just pretend to drink! I took a big hearty (fake) sip, planning what to say the whole time based on the spiel I had received while he blended and poured. I knocked it back with a flourish, praised its subtle mixture of flavours, and passed the cup over to my lady with a hearty "Try this!". Improv classes had served me well; I had dodged another bullet.

I also found I was having daydreams of desserts. Nothing specific, just the idea of them. I can't wait for this to be over.

The Sugary Temptation

My resolve was sorely tested last night.

My father is a wonderful cook. He likes to host a dinner party every once in awhile. His meals are delicious, but his desserts are divine. Cheesecake is far and away my favorite dessert, and he makes a cheesecake that is so delicious I dream about it. And of course, he served it for dessert. He has been watching his sugar intake lately, and I recently gave him a bottle of blue agave syrup to try when baking.

For those who are unaware, Blue Agave is a sweetener made from the agave plant that is used as a sugar substitute. It is far sweeter than sugar, meaning you use less and it does not register on the glycemic index (At least, according to the label; I'm certainly no expert and I've heard there is some controversy around this fact). 

Since I knew he was experimenting with it, I held out a faint hope he had used it to make this particular cheesecake. But my hopes were quickly dashed. It took extreme willpower in order to stop myself from having just one little bite. I didn't, mostly by not looking at it. Dinner was fine, since it was only the gravy that had any amount of sugar. But dessert was really tough.

My girlfriend knew I was suffering and made it up to me. This morning, we had pumpkin puree pancakes with pan-fried bananas. SO delicious and still sweet, but without the external sugar! Craving satisfied.  

A lack of options

Yesterday I was suffering from a lack of choices. Due to the granola bar mishap of the past few days, I decided to be particularly puritanical from here on out. I was downtown at a food court in a mall and realized there was not really anything I could eat there, or be certain about at any rate. As I have learned, sugar is entirety ubiquitous in our food, especially processed foods.

Burgers buns add sugar. It's in pizza sauces, gravy, and virtually all other sauces and condiments commercially available. In fact, unless the label specifically promises no sugar in big bold writing it almost certainly does have some.
The problem for a lot of food distributors and manufacturers is they freeze, seal, or vacuum pack their food so it will be fresh on arrival. Unfortunately, a lot of flavor is lost in a frozen pizza or chicken nugget if you just unfreeze it. You need to add a preservative to keep it fresh and also tasting like something other than wet cardboard. The most common ones are of course salt. And sugar.

But they are sneaky. They have large budgets and food labs, and can determine how much sugar or salt is just enough to preserve flavor without being overpowering. They have introduced it into our diet and done it so slowly that we scarcely noticed it and now it is undetected in most of our foods. Think of it: many people forego meat, dairy, and even gluten without much difficulty. But you practically have to force someone at gunpoint to give up sugar. It's still very fringe, because it's so very common in our modern diets. And the scary thing is, I am only referring to the hidden sugars in food. Think of all the candy, chocolates, and soda we all consume so regularly. We are sweetening ourselves to death and we hardly know to what extent.

Which leaves me at the food court, woozily hungry and trying to find something that was edible. After much deliberation and consideration, I settled on a large order of fries. It wasn't perfect, but it was all I could manage. They were the tastiest goddamn fries I'd ever eaten.

    

Breakfast

I have a dilemma. My girlfriend, wonderful cook that she is, likes to prepare a week's worth of breakfast in bar form. She bakes a tray of granola bars loaded with nutrients: cheese, peanut butter, apple, bran flakes. But for binding purposes, she uses...honey. Now, technically, honey is not a sugar, but it technically is as well.  I don't want to skate by on a loophole in my own rules.

Now, I love to eat, and these bars are fantastically tasty, and so packed with all sorts of healthy stuff that they're quite filling too. I commute back and forth a lot and it's important to be able to have quick to go food for breakfast.

The long and short of it is, I have been eating them, honey be damned. It's a small amount in a large tray, and I don't even use ketchup right now, for goodness' sake! (For the record, they do not taste sweet. I mean, no sweeter than the apple in the bar would when baked into anything).

Another thing my girlfriend like to do is vary the recipe from week to week, using different sorts of apples, cheese, or greens like kale or spinach. We like to discuss the different tastes and how one batch differs from another, what we liked and what we didn't, and so on.

Today, while having our weekly bar discussion (jealous?), she let it slip that had run out of honey when she was making the bars and had added as a substitute simple syrup.

Which is essentially sugar and water.

Needless to say, I was a little shocked. She told me she had said this while making them, but I was caught unawares. You know when someone is talking to you but you are also thinking about something else and only half comprehend what they are saying? A lot of that. But also not listening.

Suffice it to say, I will not be eating any more of the bars now, knowing what I know. But what is an appropriate punishment to rectify this? I can't quite decide if I should start over again or something to that effect. I suppose I'd better sleep on it. Until then!

A brief late night post

Not much to say today, unfortunately. A busy day at work means I wasn't paying much attention to sugar or anything else. My lunch was homemade and entire lacking in sugar for sure. A strange side note: I'm starting to taste sugar in things I am sure do not have sugar, like an underlying sweetness. Maybe my brain is trying to trick my sugar-starved body into thinking it's receiving what it so desperately wants. Then again, I could simply be going crazy! Who knows anymore!

Traversing restaurants

Challenging yourself not to imbibe a foodstuff isn't easy, but it can be manageable at home. At home, you can observe strict adherence to any rules (or lack thereof) that you choose. Avoiding any one foodstuff is in a way easy: you simply don't purchase items with the offending ingredient.

But of course, one doesn't spend all of one's time at home. It is necessary to go out, socialize, and work. This is really where I feel there is the most difficulty. Out in the wider world, there are many pressures to relax with friends, or pressures on time due to work and other exciting life events like shopping for cold medication.

Which is a roundabout way of saying it is far more difficult to avoid sugar when outside than it is inside. In my own case, I work at a waterfront restaurant, in which questionable food of indeterminate ingredients is abundantly available and I constantly moving. Therefore, I am always hungry. But because I am keen to avoid sugar, I am unable to devour anything and everything as I usually would. I have to take the time and ask the questions.

Luckily, I work in a well put together operation. The chef knows his shit, and when I ask him if sugar is included in this or that he almost always can tell me without hesitation. He offered me a bit of his meal (By the way, if a chef ever offers you some of his own food, take it. It will likely be one of the tastiest things you'll ever eat), and when I asked him the sugar questions he knew instantly it did not. I was pleased, as it looked delicious; a bit of sauteed lamb with pasta and tomato sauce.

However, when  I began to eat it, I tasted a distinct sugary taste to it. This is something I have come to find in the past few day: my palette has become very sensitive to the taste of sugar. Unhappily, I couldn't eat it. I picked out the meat and very reluctantly gave the rest away.

My coworkers are also sympathetic to my plight. January is often the month when people are still struggling with resolutions and cutting things out of their own diet, so they applaud the effort of others, as it bolsters their own morale. A couple of my coworkers, for instance, have given up alcohol for the month.

It has led to some interesting conversations as well. One coworker was unaware of the sugar that was in ketchup and was unhappy to know just how sugary it was; he had been placing it in the 'somewhat good for you' column. Another didn't believe she would be able to do it, were she in my shoes. I explained that I had done it before, or something similar, and I really was feeling fine without it. But to her, it was as if I were undertaking one of the herculean labors.

Make no mistake: I miss sugar. I crave it. But the lack of it is not making me crazy, or sad, or angry. I don't need it, I just want it. Absence makes the heart go fonder, after all.

Ketchup?

I've felt very jittery the past couple of days. Full of restless energy. As I write this, it occurs to me for the first time that this might be lack of sugar related. I constantly feel the need to move around and perform activities or chores or anything. I always want to be in motion.

Confidentially, I haven't been sleeping super well either. Whether this is relevant or not I'm not sure. I simply want to document it to contrast against other things I am giving up later in the year.

So it was after a long walk Sunday night brought on by restlessness that my girlfriend and I decided to go for burgers at a local chain. No kings or golden arches, but one of the more upscale burger chains that have begun to litter Toronto in the past couple of years.

Ordering was very difficult. I had to ask at the order counter whether the burger patty or cheese had any sugar in it. They checked. The answer was no. But I still had a dilemma: what toppings were OK? Which weren't?

Was ketchup OK? Or relish? I wasn't sure. So I had to pass. In the end, I settled on cheese, tomato, pickle, mushrooms, and mustard ( I love mustard and checked out the brands at the grocery store. None of the major brands had any sugar in them, except for the honey mustard varieties).

We received our burgers and sat down to eat. Right away, I could sense something was amiss. I could taste something sweet, or so I thought. I might be imagining it, I reasoned. I continued to eat.

But I couldn't shake the though that something sugary was sneaking by undetected. I sampled all the ingredients individually to try and find the culprit. The pickles were fine. So were the tomatoes, mustard, and mushrooms. Can you guess what it was?

I sampled a bit of the bun on its own and found my smoking gun. After just a few days, I could taste the sugar permeating the bun! I had no idea a burger bun would even contain sugar, but I definitely tasted it. I promptly removed the rest of the bun and finished the burger.

When we got home, my girlfriend wanted to make egg nog in order to use up the last of the holiday ingredients in the fridge (she's good like that). I was forlorn, knowing I couldn't share in that lovely holiday treat. But I was in for a surprise: she prepared it without sugar, using extra cinnamon, nutmeg, and fresh ginger instead. It was a tasty treat, but in complete honesty I missed the sugary version. This was proving harder than I thought...

With regard to labels

I went grocery shopping. It was a lot harder than I though it would be. While I certainly had an idea that many goods contained sugars, I had no idea how many. Peanut Butter. Applesauce. Breakfast cereals. Even breads!

In Canada, we have little nutrition labels that tell you the fat, salt, sugar, etc. content of any item in the supermarket. It is astounding that sugar is as prevalent as it is in most consumer goods available. No wonder there is an obesity epidemic, and a surge in cases of diabetes!

Luckily, most of these things can be replaced with no sugar versions. Natural peanut butter has no added sugar, and there is unsweetened apple sauce. Some things, like frozen foods and pizzas, are right out. I resolved to make my own sugarless version. Hopefully, this will be possible. Going without sugar was proving to be more than just giving up dessert.

The beginning: in which no sugar is no big deal

Having awoke on New Year's day, I knew this was go time. The very first day, I experienced a craving almost right away. While your mind can accept any premise you propose in the theoretical, it can often blanch at the execution. Though I had known for days I was planning to do this, my body was not as keen on the idea. It's because you know you can't that suddenly causes you to desire something even more.

So that first day, I was acutely aware of all the sugary sweets that were on offer everywhere. It was tricky but once I forced myself to forget them by thinking about other things, they seemed to dissipate and the cravings went away.

The thing is, the first day of giving up anything is always going to reasonably easy. Even an addict can probably go a day without fulfilling their addiction. The body, so used to having something in its system, will not immediately notice its absence. So if I didn't think about sugar, I didn't notice I wasn't having any.

Things were going along swimmingly for the first couple of days. I just drank a little more sugarless coffee and perked right up.

Then the third day hit.

I expect that by this point, my body had begun to suspect my ruse and the cravings again began, my body having long consumed any residual sugars in my system.

Low blood sugar can make me VERY cranky, to say the least. If I'm very hungry, or lacking caffeine, I can be very beastly. This is what happened to me on the third day. Despite a lovely brunch and a hearty cup of strong coffee, I felt infuriated by the day itself. Anything anyone said to me caused me extreme annoyance. Lights were too bright, sounds too noisy. I felt restless.

It wasn't until the evening that I realized what was the matter: a lack of sugar. I had been avoiding all sugar up until then and decided to have a banana. I instantly felt better. But I began to realize this might be harder than I thought.

January: The Sugarless Month

I've realized that, slowly but surely, I am becoming addicted to sugar. One of my chief addictions in life is hot caffeinated beverages, and the very best thing to do with one of those is dip a sugar encrusted treat into the scalding liquid and letting it combine the flavors. It does not get better than that.

Like many of you out there, I love everything and anything sweet (although I've never been much of a candy person; I can't stand fake fruity flavors! And why both anyway when chocolate is so delicious and abundant?). I love cookies, cake, pie and all other tasty method of sugar delivery. It was in December, when I realized I began to crave sugar in a strange way I never had before. I'm not a smoker and never have been, but I am a total coffee addict. I miss the coffee if I don't have it, and get testy without it. The craving was like that, vicious and snarling and ready to snap off the chain at any moment.

Of course, the Christmas/holiday season is the worst time of the year to  try and kick sugar. Everywhere you go, there are cookies, cakes, desserts, parties, liquor, wine, and beer. Sugar is literally all around you at all times.

So I just rode out the month, continuing to snack and dip merrily away, knowing the futility of trying to do otherwise. January would be the perfect month to try and go sugarless. And here we are, January in full swing.

I decided to make it simpler for myself by creating a few rules.

1. Nothing I eat OR drink can contain sugar.
This includes trace amounts of sugar in things like pasta sauces and where sugar is used as a preservative. I am allowed to use sugar substitutes such as aspartame and sucralose if I so choose, but I find them gross so that probably won't happen. Natural sugars from raw fruits or vegetables are also fine.

2. This goes for liquor as well.
Staying true to the intention and the letter of rule 1, I have decided that the no sugar rule will include liquor as well, including beer, wine, and syrupy liqueurs.

3. If I'm not sure if something contains sugar, I am must err on the side of caution and cannot eat or drink it.
This will mean a lot of label checking and question asking at restaurants and at the supermarket!

So those are the rules. As I write this, I have already been on the no-sugar kick for a number of days. In the interest of fairness, I am going to document this as well, starting with the next post. Wish me luck!

A year long challenge!

If I know anything, it's how full of shit New Year's resolutions can be. It's a familiar story: we finish out the holiday season of gorging ourselves on loads of fatty, sweet, delicious treats and meals, topped off  with a bender of a night of binge drinking. Yes, once the holidays are over, we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror and are shocked. What happened to the chiseled physique we have grown to love? Where did that spare tire come from? How many calories does a glass of eggnog have, anyway?

Determined to change our course, we embark on a regimen of health. *This* is the year I'm going to the gym! And regularly! This is when I eat healthy, give up smoking, eliminate fatty foods, beer! It's about time I gave up all the tasty temptations in the world!

And that's usually where it all falls apart, doesn't it? I've been there, tried to change too much at one time and ended up abandoning all my resolutions within a week or so (if that). Even this year, I resolved to do so many things more than I could do, and give up more than I could ever reasonably give up. As of the first, I pledged to:

- Eat less sugar
- Eat less fat
- Cut down on internet/video game consumption
- Try and eat less meat
- Cut down on coffee
- Eat more veggies
- Read more

Quite the list! And imagine trying to do all of those things at once, as I did! A complete failure in the making, right out of the gate! Luckily, I had a stroke of genius. This year, instead of giving up meat, video games, and the like all at once, I would give them up one at a time, over the course of a year. That way, I could compensate the loss of one thing with an increase of another! Pretty clever, right?

While I'm at it, I figured 'why not document the process for an adoring (and quite likely belligerent) internet audience? I do so enjoy abuse from strangers!'. So that's the The Year Without is all about. Every month, I'll pick a new vice of mine to remove from my life, and let YOU reap the rewards of my pain and suffering. I'll create rules around what is and isn't acceptable for that challenge and stick to them. And, by all means, feel free to call me out if I slip up; it'll be hard to know if I am 100% compliant otherwise. I look forward to seeing you again soon!