Conclusions

Here we are at the end of the month and I frankly couldn't be happier. Although the meals were not nearly as unpleasant as I expected, they were just as difficult to find as I thought. Things like coffee with soy are good, and you can get used to them, but eventually you get sick of them, due to lack of variety. Seriously, I hope not to see an eggplant or soy again for a long while.

I am not against the vegan lifestyle, or the principles it espouses. However, it's not a choice I think anyone could reasonably make for the rest of their lives. It's easy to avoid any one of the things on a regular grocery list, such as red meat, fish, cheese, or honey. But all of them? Forever? Any vegetarian or vegan that I know personally (beyond casually) simply cannot maintain the rigors of a strict vegan diet all the time. It's why vegetarians eat eggs and dairy still, it's hard to the point of impossibility to eat vegan all the time without eating gross  cheese or yogurt substitutes. Yes, those are fine if they're all you had, but we have the real thing, you know? It's sort of like eating according to a gluten-free diet when you're not allergic (it's needlessly complicated).

At first, I felt a lot better because I was forced to eat less fatty, high salt foods and takeaway. But then I found other versions of these things to consume and I continued on my merry way. Craving snacks and foods with recognizable flavors, I definitely ate a variety of high salt and sugary foods, just looking for something to satisfy my cravings. And towards the very end, I felt a major drain of energy and vitality. So I don't think the lifestyle was particularly healthy in my case either.

Finally, I felt I had to be policing my thoughts and my food all the time, obsessively checking labels to make sure foods were vegan and finding to my surprise that many foods I though were safe were not, or had some secret dairy ingredient about which I didn't know. It was taxing just to try and find a grab and go lunch, and so I often resorted to eating the same thing over and over again until I was completely tired of it. I actually would grow stressed about what to eat, especially if i was tired or really hungry. I would be paralyzed by what felt like a lack of options and just grow crankier and more upset as my blood sugar tanked.

I recommend this diet to every single carnivore and omnivore on the planet. It's important to know and really experience what it's like without animal products in your diet or your life. I know I will work to reduce the amount of meat I consume in the coming days. Just not seven days a week. 

Sickly

I've really started to feel the lack of animal protein in my diet. Like I've said previously, I have been feeling a little queasy and constipated as of late, which is strange as I eat a ton of high fibre foods. Something I have found about a lack of animal protein in my diet is soy protein doesn't seem to be absorbed into my body as quickly as say, a steak. I am keenly aware of my cravings for meat due to protein. Remember when I said I was not having unconscious cravings? That has changed, and visions of hamburgers are dancing in my heads. As it's so close to the end of the month, I have begun to plan my big meat reintegration meal.

I am waffling, but it's down to two contenders. Either the sushi buffet where I can eat a ton of seafood mixed in with vegetables and other simple meat dishes. Or I can have Korean barbecue, so I can eat a ton of meat and be forced to pace myself due to cooking times, with the occasional vegetable to mix it up. I don't think there will be as much trouble for my body to begin eating meat again as it will be to reintroduce dairy. Expect a stark and frankly gross bowel movement report!

Juiced

It's silly to say, but I haven't really been getting enough fruit in my diet. Although I was hoping to use my month of veganism to eat more healthy, I have definitely skimped on the fruit part. I haven't actively avoided it or anything, it's just that I keep seeming to miss out on it. Thus, it was only this week I finally worked in a juice bar visit or two. It has made all the difference, as lately I have felt out of sorts.

My stomach has been feeling really bloated lately, and I feel sort of seasick. My opinion, although I cannot corroborate this, is that I am lacking in nutrients of some sort or another. The thing about being vegan is I find it very hard to get all the nutrients I need without actively seeking them out. And even when you seek them out, they are often in their rawest form. So not only are you actively considering all the things you cannot eat, you need to be thinking about all the things you need to eat all the time. It's very mentally taxing, nothing unbearable but something that would definitely become annoying in the long-term.

Coming Out

You may have gotten the feeling I am embarrassed or shy about talking about this monthly challenge. This is not the case. Personally, I find it annoying to listen to people discuss their dietary restrictions. It's probably the most boring conversation you can have, and it is completely vain and one sided. The other person can't add anything to the discussion unless they are similarly afflicted.

Or you open yourself up to all sorts of philosophical discussions with people. When I mentioned it off-hand to someone whom I know casually, it ends up giving them a chance to make a casual quip, or a dumb and uninformed remark. Some people get their backs up discussing this issue; it's as though they find vegans personally offensive. Again, I want to state that despite my heavy handed comments, I am not against veganism but I have definitely concluded it's not for me. I don't want to open that can of worms, and rather than do so I keep away from the topic entirely, unless it comes up naturally. But it's not a conversation I want to have, especially since I don't have an actual reason for doing it. I am not morally opposed and it is not for my heath. "Just because" isn't always a good enough answer.

Steak Envy

I've reached the point that I have started craving meat, like all the time. Although I have been consistently aware of meat, I have been successful at compartmentalizing. I think about meat or have a craving, and I just think about something else. I make sure to eat a food that's vegan friendly and get myself full, or at least not satisfied enough to not crave it anymore.

Well, that's stopped working. I am in the final phase of all of these monthly challenges where I have daydreams about whatever I've given up. Even though I am complaining a lot this month about being vegan, it has been a lot easier than any other challenge. It's a major lifestyle change, one that is for the better. But as I have said, it's more than I think I could commit to for a long period of time. And it's so easy to screw up!

Meat cravings are bad, but they are easy to ignore and don't last long. Plus, they are more conscious, brought on by a burger ad on the side of a bus, or an errant smell wafting from somewhere near by. But just like those things, the craving disappears once they have. A coffee craving was an unreasoning, unconscious desire that I had no control over. I could ignore it, but it was always there. Now I have a imitation soy chicken strip, and I am good to go! Until I get sick of them.

Mistakes Were Made

I've written a bit about how I have made innocent errors. Now I realize I do not have the mental fortitude to ever become truly vegan. It just takes too much out of you.

As I have been extremely busy with work as of late, I have not had much opportunity to cook food for myself and rely on some regular places to grab a quick bite. Most frequently of all, I have been going to a local burrito place and having a yam burrito without dairy. This manages to keep me full without violating the tenets of veganism. Or so I thought. Unfortunately, yesterday I went in and asked for the veggie burrito with no dairy, the guy behind the counter told me that their burrito sauce has a mayonnaise base.

I have been eating a ton of these things! Easily, 2 or 3 a week since the beginning of the month! Now really, I had no idea this was an issue. When they said burrito sauce, I envisioned a thin hot sauce with pepper and sugar and so on. I certainly didn't taste a sauce that was thick with mayonnaise. Then again, since I always had guacamole when I ate one of these, it would be difficult to taste. But I didn't know!

Which comes back to mental fortitude. I never even considered the possibility of this, because I lacked the vigilance to truly be vegan. If you are really vegan, you would need to be vegan for every second of the day and paying close attention to everything that goes into your body. Sounds like a good idea, I know, but how could you ever do that forever? I mean, and not go crazy?

Fried

My weight has gone down, and I feel more healthy. This is the direct result of being vegan this month. As I am unable to eat out (for the most part), I am forced to choose healthy options more frequently. Instead of french fries and gravy, I have avocado sushi almost every day. Instead of burgers, I make mini soy cheese pizzas. While I definitely feel more energetic, I also feel hampered by a total lack of options. I am not much of a cook by nature, and tend to lean on certain foods as stand-bys.

For example, one of my favorite snacks is apple sauce or yogurt with crackers. Assuming I use soy yogurt, this is still a completely viable option for me. But because I am so limited in my choices, I have prematurely grown sick of it. This is probably more to do with feeling limited in my options than actually being limited. But what can I do? Just keep bashing my head against the wall that is March until a solution is found, or I go crazy. Both work.

Soyed Out

I've mentioned previously that I have grown tired of soy milk due to overconsumption. Slow witted as I am, I forgot there are alternatives to soy that I wasn't touching upon. I thought I might review a couple of them to get a little variety into my diet.

The first is almond milk. More properly, almond milk beverage. Some soy based drinks attach this word to their product as well instead of milk. I am grossed out by this. That's because it implies it is a totally artificial beverage, like those real cheap fruit drinks and cocktails that are really just flavored sugar water with no nutritional content whatsoever. I opted for the chocolate flavour, since the last time I had almond milk it was the original flavor and it was absolutely awful. It tasted like just like you would expect, water and ground up almonds.

The chocolate flavor was actually not bad, and quite enjoyable. The appearance leaves a lot to be desired however. As my girlfriend so delicately put it, when you're pouring it into the glass it looks like someone horked a loogie into a glass of chocolate soy. It separates as it pours into a weirdly oily fluid and milky one. I realize I make it sound utterly unappealing, but the truth of it is I downed it quickly. It tastes very comparable to chocolate soy, although a bit weaker in flavor. I finished the liter package in about a day and a half, so that's saying something. Plus, they fortify it with calcium so it still has all the soy benefits.

Not so with option two. Another milk replacement, this drink is hailed as "coconut non-dairy beverage" (there's that word again). Again, I went with the chocolate option, fearing the worst of the original. I was right to be concerned, this one is awful. It has a very weak flavor, and what you do taste is a weird mix of chocolate and a watery texture, like you mixed chocolate powder and water. Worse of all, it has almost no health benefits, is high in saturated fats and has no calcium OR vitamin C (coconuts are very high in vitamin C naturally so I can't even imagine what's in this drink!) I would strongly suggesting avoiding this one. I had high expectations, since I love coconut milk and coconut water. But I was VERY let down.

Next I'll try fortified rice beverages and see how they taste. Hopefully, more like a milk and less like a "beverage".

Social Obligations

I am vegan by choice. All vegans are of course, that's one thing they all have in common. However, I am a temporary vegan who is not actually ideologically aligned with the cause. As such, I find it a difficult conversation to have with people. Twice this week, I went to dinner and felt awkward about broaching the topic. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't due to shyness or anything like that. Rather, I guess it was a sort of embarrassment.

As I said, not actually being a vegan for real, it seemed remarkably hard position to justify with a "just because" answer when asked. I don't really believe in it, it's just a weird sociological experiment I've chosen to undergo. And I frankly would be mortified if someone felt they had to accommodate my made up dietary restrictions. It would be quite a different matter if I was allergic or something, as that would be a matter of survival. But it isn't. That's another thing that strikes me as disingenuous about veganism: the choosing of a dietary restriction for an arbitrary reason and expecting the larger world to put up with that. Yes, it is with a moral conviction, and who am I to say otherwise? But I will not be that kind of vegan, if I can possibly help it. It's just not in my personality. 

On Reliable Writing

One of the major issues I have encountered when I started this blog is finding things to write about each and every day. Many times, I have not succeeded, and this has led to sporadic and random postings at times. First and foremost, I need to point out that the timing of my starting this blog could not have been worse. Almost as soon as I came up with the concept, I started two new part-time jobs that eat away at my free time and prevent me from writing as much as I would like. At times, it has been a slog to muster the strength to write anything throughout the day or to spend that last 20 minutes before bed coming up with content for the day.

Frankly, this is a very good excuse, but that is truly what is: an excuse. When I actually have a good idea or two for a blog post, I blast it out right away or am excited to get a chance to do so. But I have periods where I have no ideas, so I put it off for as long as possible. I don't like it, but sometimes it happens. I can honestly say this is not due to procrastination or simple laziness, but the lack of ideas. It can be hard to generate new content if nothing in particular happens that day or you are swamped with work.
But like I said, that stuff is just excuses, and I will continue trying to make posts interesting and new as I go along. It just might take me awhile sometimes. 

Chocolate

Did you know chocolate is vegan? Not milk chocolate of the sort available in supermarkets and conveniences stores, though some of these are so processed and artificial that they contain no animal products(!) of any kind. Rather, I am referring to dark chocolate, specifically the purer forms. Because it is low on ingredients (typically less than 10), it can be a good way to satisfy my sugar cravings, which are extremely hard to fill without getting dairy or egg involved. I have tried vegan desserts, and some are good, but they are on the whole not moist enough for my liking.

I'm sure you've heard about the health benefits, and how pure dark chocolate (70% purity or so) will provide you with antioxidants. But what I've learned as well is that it contains a very high amount of iron per serving. In the kind I have been buying, it has 30% iron in about four squares, which is utterly astounding to me. Without meat, any reliable high source of protein or iron is hard to come by. Yes, it has sugar in it, but it is unprocessed, non-refined sugar. Or so I keep telling myself!

This is really just a rant about the benefits of chocolate as well as one of the best things I have found about being vegan. I found a way to indulge my sweet tooth and add a vital source of iron to my diet all at once!

Confession

I cannot tell a lie. It took until March, but I was finally unable to keep my vow and abstain from the object of one of my monthly challenges. I went and had dinner at a friend's place just a couple of nights ago. Everything was great, except I had completely forgot to tell him I was eating vegan. Rather than tell him last minute, I instead opted to keep my mouth shut, since he tends towards vegetable heavy meals anyway.
Well, dinner proved to be no problem, as it was a stir fry dish. He has some young kids who were not overly fond of eggplant (a big component of the meal) so I cannily traded the chicken in my dish for their eggplant and maintained the integrity of the March challenge.

Unfortunately, I forgot about dessert. I have had a real cookie craving, and a gingerbread cookie is next to impossible to resist. And I couldn't. So I consumed something that had an egg in it. I didn't really think about it, but I should have. At least I can say it was made with a soya margarine, and so still haven't had any dairy. Nor have I had any meat, just the egg. I really thought I would have slipped up sooner when I started, but now I feel a bit bummed that I made it this far and screwed up. I thought I would be able to maintain a perfect clean record. Some things just aren't meant to be.

Milk

Now that I have a tolerably good vegan cheese and desserts that are butter-free, I can safely narrow my down my dairy longings to simply milk. Although there are a plethora of non-cow related options to replace milk and cream, I have long since exhausted them as viable options. While I am quite fond of soy milk and chocolate soy in particular, I have not ever found an almond milk or coconut milk that I liked. At least, liked past a few sips.

Soy is a reasonable alternative, but I have grown tired of the texture of it. And the fact I am drinking it in place of milk in a glass as well as in my coffee. It lacks a variety of flavor and it simply doesn't mix as well as milk or cream into a cup of coffee. I can drink whole glasses of it, but it doesn't satisfy my craving real milk the way soy cheese satiates my cheese craving. There just doesn't seem to be anything comparable, and it is driving me a little nuts. But other than that, things are a-ok!          

Habits

Unlike previous months, the problem so far has not been "how can I go on," but rather "why should I go on". I'm not trying to cause offends when I ask that question, I merely mean that it has forced me to consider a whole lifestyle I had never really considered before. Kudos for that, but that consideration has also caused me to reject it as well.

I was hoping at the outset that veganism would force me into a more healthy lifestyle due a distinct lack of options. My diet has gotten healthier, but I am still very able to consume things that are bad for me, even if they are not quite as bad for me (e.g. vegan chicken nuggets). Yet I am developing habits of eating that no longer require high fat or high salt additions. While this is a definite plus, I am not sure how long these learned habits will continue with the restrictions removed.

Simulacrum

I live a simulated existence. Not only do I consume soya milk with my coffee every morning, I have fake cheese in my fridge at all times. Today, I learned about about and purchased fake pepperoni, made without meat. Let's be honest, I've a solid pizza craving for a week now, and I'm desperate to try anything that will satiate the craving.

Fake cheese wasn't much of an adjustment, truth be told. It's different but not radically so. Like I said, after awhile, I doubt I would remember what real cheese tasted like. And the same is true of fake pepperoni. It is shockingly close to eating the real deal. In fact, I bought some turkey pepperoni a couple of months ago and it definitely is more flavorful. And that was actual meat! Of course, I'm sure regular pepperoni is probably comprised of garbage parts of animals and is subject to tons of processing, so recreating it probably isn't a stretch if you're also processing it. I think it's like hot dogs; it's essentially a fake thing already so making an artificial copy can't be too hard.

But I suppose that's my point of the day. If I am going to eat heavily processed food bent to resemble or taste like foods I used to eat, then why bother? Why not just eat a real hotdog? I know, I know, it's also more healthy to eat the vegan version. But the fact is I rarely bought processed foods in my groceries, opting instead for the organic or more natural versions of products. Now processed foods are in my grocery bag constantly. Thus the simulated life. I could live with eating real cheese, but I'm not so sure about the processed fake stuff.

Animal Style

Because of vegan cheese, I feel I have successfully mastered the vegan diet. Perhaps not the lifestyle, but mostly the diet. While I find eating to be relatively stress free, I have tried not to think to much upon avoiding animal products in everyday life. I am staying away from obvious examples like furs and cosmetics, but I would have little cause to use or buy those anyway. I have heard tales of animal testing on all sorts of products, so for the most part, I have avoided purchasing really anything that might be a contaminant.
I haven't forgotten meat, dairy or all the other delicious non vegan items. I miss them, but I don't feel like I need them in the same gut wrenching, visceral way I wanted sugar or coffee. This is because there are many, many workarounds in a vegan diet, substitutes that actually substitute.

So I am adapting, and even thriving. But I believe this is only because it is temporary. I feel if I actually adapted this lifestyle long term, it would only be a matter of time before I cracked. But not yet!

Faux

Today I tried some kind of faux chicken nuggets that were totally vegan and I had an epiphany. Previously, I had not properly understood the concept of fake recreation of non vegan dishes.  To me, you could never recreate the taste or flavour of a meat food. So why even try?

Well, I have my answer. I didn't really think of the context in which someone would want to eat such a thing. No, a fake chicken nugget does not taste precisely the same as a regular one. But it does taste pretty damn close, and if you have made the permanent switch over to veganism it can be quite comforting to have a taste of an old favorite. I mean, I've only been at this for a couple of weeks, and it did a fine job of tricking me. After a year or so without the real deal, I'm sure my memory and taste buds would connive and trick me to the point I couldn't tell the difference.

As a meat eater, you would probably not be fooled by these soy based nuggets. But let's face it, you knew they weren't for you anyway.

Restaurant Woes

Today we had a problem that has somehow not occurred yet. We went to a late dinner to have a meal, and the only thing on the menu I was able to eat was pizza and fries. If pizza is an option, I normally have no issue. But as it happens, I had pizza for lunch and did not relish the idea of another no cheese pizza. Being hungry, I still wanted to eat and suggested we leave. But my girlfriend, who was (evidently) sick of the whole vegan thing, did not want to leave.

I have attempted to be aware of this, and not drag her into my own made up bullshit. She has been unflinchingly supportive, and so far I have attempted to minimize the impact these monthly challenges have on my life and on hers. Until this month of veganism, I have been largely successful. But it is far more restrictive to eat and prepare food that is animal-free in all ways.

Nonetheless, she felt responsible in a weird way for my eating habits. And when I suggested we leave a restaurant due to a lack of options, it was a bridge too far. So I backed down, and ordered some fries. I didn't want to punish her for my own decisions, and I will continue to do so. After all, this is all just made up!

Hogtown Vegan: A Review

Since I first floated the idea of going vegan, friends have been telling me about the Hogtown Vegan. They recreate meat dishes! You can get vegan fish and chips! Or chicken and waffles!

I must admit, I was skeptical. Yet I love trying new, different, and weird food, so I knew it would only be a matter of time before I ventured forth. Today, my cravings for more traditionally greasy cuisine led me to their door, and the results were..satisfying. At least, at first.

The dishes are all vegan takes on traditional greasy spoon fare. "Fish and Chips". "Unchicken and Waffles". "Bacon Cheeseburger". To be clear: the quotation marks are from their menu, not placed there by me. You've never seen a menu with so many quotation marks in your life! I am well aware I am in a vegan restaurant, there's no need to worry that I will confuse a vegan entree with the real meaty deal. A restaurant that serves meat doesn't call a veggie burger a "hamburger"; it's simply understood.

In any case, a lot of the options looked enticing, and I had a hard time deciding. Would it be the Hot Roast "Beef" Sandwich? The Southern combo? Chili "Cheese" Fries? Ultimately, my girlfriend and I settled on the Shiitake Fried "Clams" (deep fried and breaded mushrooms) as a appetizer. We followed with the Unchicken and Waffles for her and the Southern Combo for me (more on that momentarily).

As our app arrived, it looked very delicious and very much like deep fried clams. But my girlfriend and I disagreed on the result. I quite enjoyed it, as I was aware it would be mushroom inside and could enjoy it as a passable imitation of a delicious meat dish. But she did not read up on it, and did not realize it was a mushroom, resulting in a bit of a letdown. This is the big problem with vegan restaurants: if you don't know what the base of the food is (e.g. soy, lentil, tempeh, etc.), your mind has an expectation that it will taste similar to the food it is imitating. It does not. Ever. Except for maybe the first couple of bites, then your stomach starts to shriek. It knows you're trying to trick it, and it is not happy about it!

We received our meals shortly thereafter. Unchicken and waffles is a meal of deep fried and breaded soy sticks (like chicken fingers) with corn waffles, collard greens, sweet potato mash, and covered in what the menu calls (quotations mine this time!) "Spiced syrup". Notice they don't say maple anywhere. My meal was faux chicken strips, also with collard greens, and a side of mac 'n "cheese" (theirs again!).

What can I say about this meal? It was all about the first bite. As I said earlier, you can initially trick your taste buds into thinking you're actually eating what the meal pretends to be, but the illusion is quickly shattered. Nonetheless, the faux chicken on both our plates (essentially the same thing on both plates but one had syrup) were surprisingly crispy and tasty. Just like chicken, but different. You'd have to try it for yourself, but it's like someone prepared a dish of food based on your description instead of a recipe. Not quite right.

The side dishes were all passable, but except the collard greens (the only side not pretending to be something it's not) we quickly grew tired of them. I enjoyed them all, and was quite satisfied, but wouldn't want to eat them again. But they make good once in a lifetime flavours.

Perhaps I exaggerate slightly. But were I a full-time vegan, it would be the type of place I would only visit sporadically, as I feel I would quickly grow tired of the menu. Besides, after we had finished our food, both of us felt bloated and seasick. I suspect this was due to the sameness of flavour and texture that dominated the meal. The food left you with a greasy feeling that made the smell of other dishes arriving at other tables not just unpalatable, but nauseating. If you are a vegan, your restaurant options are severely limited. This restaurant is a godsend in that you can fulfill a craving without indulging in animal product. But I doubt this will convert many doubters.

Cookbook Blues (or how I haven't learned to stop eating and prepare a meal)

Although I have been fairly good this month and not had any intentional slipups. And yet so far, this month's challenge has been a bit of a failure.

The reason I am attempting to do these monthly challenges (besides curiosity and general interest) is to eliminate those things in my life, albeit temporarily, that I feel I am addicted to or on which I am overly reliant. I definitely consumed too many sugary foods, and drank too much coffee. Yes, I probably ate a lot of animal product in my day to day life, but what I have really eliminated was fast food. The grab and go options that I would consume almost daily are almost all gone. I mean, I could still order up some fries if I really wanted them, but that option seems particularly dull to me just now.

Yet there is another side to these challenges. Eliminating something is one aspect, but adding something to my every day life is also a part of it. Instead of sugar, I consumed more fruit and sugary vegetables to get my fix. Instead of coffee, I drank more liquids to maintain the habit, even if it wasn't quite the same. This month, the plan was to force myself to prepare my own food more often. There are vegan restaurants out there but they are all rather limited. For sheer variety's sake, I would need to cook and prepare my own food. Perhaps even every day. This hasn't come to pass.

So what happened? Work. Unlike most of y'all out there, I work three separate jobs, all requiring different time, physical, and mental commitments. I am and have been almost constantly on the go, leaving me little time for petty things like sleep or even eating. Today, for example, I went from one job directly to another and ate a pre-prepared lunch (consisting of dinner leftovers) while I worked at job 2. During my rare time off (such as now), I feel utterly incapable of preparing a meal, and lack the ingredients to do so anyway.
Hopefully, things will settle down soon and I will be able to fulfill the other half of my entirely self-imposed contract. Time will tell.

Take-out

Eating out has become far more of a chore now that I am a vegan. As anyone who special dietary restrictions knows, it is very easy to control what goes into your food when you are at home. But it is much harder to know when you are in the larger world. I enjoy eating out; it is practically a hobby for me. If you've ever walked past a fast food outlet or supermarket novelty and wondered "Who buys meat-flavored Shreddies covered in chocolate?", the answer is me. ALWAYS me, the moment I see it. Not only will I but it if it looks gross, I will buy it because it looks gross. I have an insatiable need to know its secrets.

That option has largely been taken away from me. SO many foods contain either butter, milk, or some other derivation/variation of dairy that it is near-impossible to avoid. So a lot of the gross, easy to access foods that I leaned on for hunger support are gone. There is no easy way out.

Of course, there are a number of fine vegan restaurants in the city to visit and try and I love all the food that comes from them. But one cannot afford the higher premiums required to dine at them for every meal. And I have had mixed success from vegan grab and go options thus far (A cold vegan wrap left me feeling very blue while avocado and rice supermarket sushi is my new favorite thing).

So I am learning to expand my repertoire. This is a good thing. I even bought and ate some vegan cheese today. With some simple tomato sauce ( and soy protein, sort of like ground beef in taste and texture), I had a nice little pizza. Vegan cheese is..passable, let's say. It's certainly nothing like real cheese, but it isn't quite as bad as processed cheese either. If I had to describe it, it's somewhere right in between the two. It'll do, it'll do.

Toilet Troubles

My body is out of whack. Sorry to backtrack, but ever since I gave up coffee I have been a lot less regular. Caffeine acts as a diuretic that makes you need to use the bathroom. Without it, I felt a definite decrease in the frequency of washroom trips. I would go half as often, but when I did go, it was a long and drawn out affair. It would basically only happen after I had eaten; then, the previous meal would come knocking.

This month has caused a similar conundrum. With the reintroduction of coffee into my diet as well as a huge increase in leafy greens and other highly fibrous foods, I am always going. Or so it seems. And my body doesn't seem to know if it's coming or going.

That's been another constant that has been hard to articulate: the crazy sense of withdrawal I get when I have given something up. It sends my body into a tailspin after the first 4-5 days, then again around day 20 or so. day 5 is physical withdrawal, and day 20 is a mental one. In either case, I do adapt. The interesting thing is watching your relationship change with something like coffee. Let be be clear: I still believe coffee to be a healthy and necessary part of my diet. Just not to the crazy extent it had been. And that's what actually keeps me motivated: watching how different I become at the end of the month as opposed to the beginning. Things that seemed totally necessary have gone back to being fun additions. The very fact I go through a withdrawal shows me how necessary it is to remove these elements from my life! 

Dairy Blues

I miss cheese and milk.

Giving up on eating meat has been surprisingly easy. As I've said, I love to eat. Therefore avoiding meat is relatively eady to avoid if I simply eat other food instead. Peanut butter is a staple to me, so I am eating much more of it lately to get my protein intake. I've also massively increased my intake of nuts and beans, as well as avocado. I still miss meat and crave it. But when I'm full, I'm full.

It's different with dairy. Unlike meat, I have almost constant cravings for cheese, milk, and butter that simply cannot be assuaged with soy or other oils. Vegan is as tasty as any other, but I haven't really delved into soy cheeses as of yet. I've had bad experiences with them so far; every type I've had so far is dry and tasteless.

Nothing that should have cheese is quite the same without it. A pizza ceases to be a pizza, and I am already very sick of coffee with soy. But I soldier on! It can only get better (especially if I get a chance to prepare meals myself!)

Conundrum

Do vegans wear wool?

I mean, I know the answer: no, because it's an animal product, and they are opposed on principal to utilizing them. But I feel they should. Sheep, due to human tampering with their genetics, now require human intervention in order to help them live. Their coats have been bred to be too think and luscious, and without shearing they will swelter in the heat and die. So not only is human shearing good for sheep, it's saving their lives.

But that's only an argument for shearing, not fashion. But I ask: if you must shear them for their own good, it must be ok to wear their fur. It would just go to waste otherwise. I really get why people avoid eating animals, and the environmental hazard caused by for-slaughter meat production. But I mean, wouldn't it therefore be fine to eat a cow that died of old age? It lived out its life, and now has no opinion one way or the other. Because I can envision a scenario in which I could see it as acceptable to use or consume animal products ethically, I cannot view either viewpoint as completely good or evil.

I freely admit, it has been much easier than I thought possible to make the switch. I could conceivable live the rest of my life without ever eating meat again and be completely happy. But I would never want to give up animal products entirely, presuming they are ethically raised. It is simply too hard, and requires far too much vigilance to commit to for a lifetime. I'm willing to bet even the strictest vegan has moments of lapsed judgement where they have a surreptitious cheese pizza, or dessert made with butter or cream. It is easy to make a judgement call and say killing animals is wrong, period. I think it's a lot harder to justify if the animal is still alive.

Manifesto

I want to be clear: I am not taking a moral stand by going vegan.

I understand the arguments against eating meat, and why a lot of people feel it is immoral or plain evil to kill and consume an animals. I understand the cramped cages, the factory farming, how people feel an intimate connection with animals. I comprehend and support these views, but I don't necessarily share them.

Plain and simple, I like eating meat. It is delicious. But that alone is not reason to eat them. I also believe there are ethical ways to raise animals for human consumption. This can include (but are not limited to) grass-few cows, organic meat, free-range chickens, and using local animals. I believe being vegan is sort of self-serving, in that it doesn't really address the issue of factory farming or bad animal handling practices. Instead, it merely assuages the conscience of someone who is opposed to said animal treatment. It is similar to saying one is cynical about the voting process and therefore doesn't vote. It is ultimately self-serving, allowing the abstainee to pat themselves on the back for their good behaviour, and failing to actually change the flaw in the system. Like it or not, a meat producer is not going to stop slaughtering pigs simply because some people don't consume them. Unless you can orchestrate a world-wide boycott, which is implausible enough to be ludicrous.

And is that even the end goal? A totally vegan world, where no one anywhere consumes any sort of meat or animal product? Short of a massive food crisis, or dictatorial decree, I can't imagine a scenario where that plays out. But let's assume it did. No one is raising animals for slaughter any longer. Why do we do with them all? Do these domesticated animals simply return to the wild, to be slaughtered again by wild predators and scavengers? Do we keep farms going as strange petting zoos, a sort of colonial village of life in the olden days?

I have no answers, and I have never heard anything addressing such issues, only sanctimonious griping about the product. You can't sit on the sidelines and orchestrate change. Vote for the reform you want to see, with your dollars and your convictions. That's how global movements are truly born.

A Sense Of Balance

So far, the vegan lifestyle is suiting me very well. Although I am forced to restrict my diet in a weird way, it feels like there is a lot less pressure this month. No animal products in my food has made me extra observant about what food I am consuming. For instance, I make sure to drink plenty of soy milk every day, since there is absolutely no chance of accidentally getting a serving of calcium or vitamin D in my diet. Ditto for protein. I have to MAKE it happen, or it won't. Previously, if I ate something bad for me (like a Big Mac or something) I could justify in some way by saying I was getting some (but not much) of each food group.

But even though there is less pressure, I also feel more anxiety about trying to get everything into my day, like my bones will crack apart and fall out if I don't get enough dairy one day. A good coping mechanism so far is to find a food I am allowed to eat a lot of and gorge on it. I'm not going to say I don't get cravings for meat, but those only really last as long as you are hungry. If you get all the nutrients your body needs in a day, your cravings stop dead once you're full. I just wish I could find an easy source of vegan dessert!

Protein Hunter

Veganaise, made without egg. Soya yogurt, without milk. Tempeh bacon, without meat. The road to veganism is a bumpy one.

Before I get into that, let me say that my first coffee after the February long draught was everything I hoped. I used soy milk of course, which I think I prefer, as it gives the coffee a nutty taste and texture. I felt energized for most of the day and my mood was instantly elevated. But that was last month's challenge, and on with the show!

I woke up late and had to hurry out of the house without breakfast. Typically in this scenario, I would stop at the McDonald's or coffee shop across the way and grab a cream cheese bagel or a fatty sausage and egg english muffin. I knew I had no such option, so before I left I grabbed a tupperware with some almonds. It sufficed, but did not satisfy.

I was starving hungry by lunch, and was craving pizza. I had a veggie option, sans cheese, which was a new experience. Without dairy, the pizza was a lot lighter and more refreshing while still being filling.  In fact, it was filling enough that I didn't end up eating a dinner at all, except for a bowl of olive oil popcorn. I don't expect every day to be this easy, but so far it has been a cakewalk.

Of course, I am aware I have said this or something similar at the beginning of each month. So we will wait and see. 

Veganaise And Vegan Days

Time to try something different. For the last two months, I have given up my two of my vices, coffee and sugar. These were habit forming substances that have addictive qualities. Going cold turkey and cutting them out completely caused my body to go a bit of a rollercoaster, as it struggled to adapt to changing conditions. There was no health risk, but there were crazy cravings, and mood swings. There were times I suffered from a kind of withdrawal, that sorely tested my willpower.

This month is markedly different. I've decided to go vegan, which weirdly feels more like an addiction rather than a subtraction. Instead of removing an unhealthy element from my life, I am adding a healthy one. I love to eat. As a result, I eat a lot of things that are terribly bad for me all the time. Being vegan will put a halt to a lot of that. I won't eat foods with meat (obviously), as well as any other animal product like eggs or dairy.

The added bonus is it will cause me to cook my own food more often, a skill I sadly neglect far too often. I have already acquired some vegan cookbooks to help me along the way. Without further ado, here are this month's rules!

1) For the rest of the month, avoid consuming animal products of any kind, including meat, eggs, and any dairy product.

I must admit, I believe I may slip up this month. Not for lack of trying, of course. But because of the prevalence of animal product and by-product it may be harder. I will still abide by the better safe than sorry rule, and not eat something if I am unsure. But in a moment of weakened vigilance, I may make a mistake and not doubt a food that perhaps I should have.

2) Avoid purchasing animal products of any sort

I will also avoid purchasing items that contain animal products as I am able. This will also be tricky, but not impossible. If I manage to get through the month with only a couple of honest mistakes, I will consider the month a success.

I cannot wait to drink a coffee.