Darkness

I live right by the lake, so I am in the perfect place to go on a daily jog. The feel of the cool air, the bright sun, and the long quiet jogging path make it an ideal location for any exercise you care to name. I follow the same route since it is easy to track my journey and figure out how far I have gone in a day versus the previous day.

As I learned though, it's a whole different story at night. Usually, I jog during the day or at the latest dusk. One fine day my only chance was to go at night, and it was a totally different experience. Even though the path is bordered by a large park, there are NO lights along the way or along the path! As in, next to none the whole length. I should mention, it runs parallel to a busy road which does have street lights, but they are on the opposing side of the path. It makes for an exhilarating and slightly frightening journey, as I couldn't see the ground in front of me or obstacles. I nearly hit several branches on the way, too.

This isn't to say I didn't like it, but simply that it was unexpected. I would definitely go again. It's fun to experience the familiar in unfamiliar ways! 

Overclocked

I hit a wall pretty hard the other night.

After a week solid of jogging every day, I had an incredibly long work day, clocking in at more than 14 hours. On top of that, I had another 8:30am shift the next day (this was Mother's day weekend, Armageddon in the restaurant world). Even if I had been able to exercise, it would not have been advisable. It took most of my energy just to make it through those 2 days. So I missed one day since I had no opportunity and the next since I was utterly exhausted. My legs were like stilts and refused to be moved very far.

I initially had plans to go jogging anyway and just push past the pain. No dice, as my legs were far too sore. Even after a long series of stretches, I couldn't coax any action from them. Probably just as well, since I could have torn something from overdoing it. Don't worry, even after missing those two days, I jumped right back in the fray the next day with a steady jog, and it felt great!

Cramping

I actually had the desire to jog on my way home. That was new. I'm fairly active in my daily life. I always take the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator (when possible). I love to walk or ride my bike around town, and my work calls for me to be on my feet most of the time. I even commute by bike!

But while I like and enjoy this physical activity, I've dreaded more direct forms of exercise like jogging, sit-ups, and the like. I don't know why, but I have developed a mental block about the whole thing, and it seems absolutely terrible to me. I pant, get all sweaty, and generally feel like I was just run over. The only motivator is the intense satisfaction you get when you've finished the exercise, and that can be easily dismissed by the warmth of a good lazing around.

I rarely take public transit these days, but it was a cold and rainy so I decided to give it a shot. This meant a whole of extra sitting and about an hour of time to kill. Eventually my mind began to wander and I realized I was thinking about a jog, since my legs were feeling cramped. I had gotten so used to the daily jog I wanted it to happen!

Progress of a kind, yes. But when I got home (and off the streetcar), my legs warmed back up. So it was still a few hours before I actually went and did it. So there's still some distance to go, physically and mentally.

Fully Equipped, part 2

Whenever you make definitive, declarative statements, you need to be ready for them to be proven wrong, usually almost immediately. Such is the case with my disdain for proper exercise gear. I have definitely grown to appreciate the idea of proper jogging clothes, even if I have yet to to take the plunge and actually buy some.

To be sure, I always knew exercise gear was important and that I would need to wear something more appropriate. I was just disdainful of the "pro" gear sold by the Nike store and the like. But my very base outfit of jeans and just any shirt hasn't worked out too well so far. It works fine and all, but I have been doing enough exercise that it's starting to feel inhibiting.

So, hubris.

Un-hiatused

I've gone the longest I ever have without blogging about the monthly challenge, and that kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing. But it has been unavoidable at the most and excusable at the least. For these past few days, I have been working a lot. Nothing new there, I'll admit. But with the warmer weather, I have had a lot more shifts at restaurant in which I work, meaning I am doing double shifts for most of the week.

When you add into the mix the exercise (which I have been fairly but not perfectly diligent about; see the next post), and I have even less time. You see, the problem with this month's challenge has been it is the only one that actually takes extra time to do. Most are diet-related, meaning I just eat different foods than I normally would. Even last month, I freed up more time with my challenge, as I avoided a time waster even more. But this challenge, I have to factor in an extra 30 minutes every day to fitness, which I would otherwise spend in leisure or composing a blog post.

So even when I'm done the exercise for that day (something requiring a feat of effort, considering the muddy, rainy, and generally too cool weather), I am disinclined to blog, presuming I had the time. But I am making an effort to correct this imbalance now, and I aim to fix it starting now. I doubt I'll get 11 posts down, but I will do my best!

Biking

I was forced to get a little innovative. As it happened, today I was unable to go for my job. I literally would have had no time to go exercise, due to other commitments from work ( I have a couple of different jobs). Luckily I had a stroke of inspiration. I was supposed to go to a work related training today, and since it was located at a relatively nearby location, I decided to try and bike it.

Now, I am a regular cyclist, and use my bike to commute several times a week. This usually takes about 30 minutes. The journey I took north today was about 40 minutes one way. On top of my usual commute, this meat a 50+ minute journey one way. Between that and the journey back, I definitely felt I had exercised my body.

Strained

I think I went too hard on the exercising. I very quickly found jogging to be much easier to work into my day. Or rather, I was more inclined to perform an activity that I had already done successfully. The other exercises I tried were fine, but without a proper mat and some more appropriate work out clothes they were difficult to perform.

So since the start of the challenge, I have just been running. Up until today, at least. I had been jogging for 7 or 8 days and had spent the day before biking for almost two hours. My muscles were sore to the point of extreme stiffness. I'm not sure, but it felt as though my muscles were in need of a break. Or rather, they forced one on me. They simply refused to cooperate, and I couldn't jog.

So I merely made sure not to overstrain anything so I could prepare for the next day, and to stretch a couple of times to keep nice and limber. Although today was not an exercise day, I have perhaps learned it is not always possible to go as hard as I can for everything.

Fully Equipped

I don't own proper jogging equipment. I mean, not of the sort you buy at the Nike store or anything. I certainly own t-shirts, shorts, and even a sweat shirt (but no matching "give up" pants). I don't bring this up as a problem. I don't particularly care about owning any of that stuff. Never have. I think it looks kinda dorky, and I am generally against any clothing that makes me look or dressed like everybody else. I mean, think about it. All of this stuff comes from only a couple of different stores, so of course it's all similar.

So far, I've been wearing jeans with a sweatshirt. Not ideal, but the air is usually chilly by the time I get outside. i have regular running shoes, of the 70's sort. I am also not a fan of most modern running shoes, which are often gaudy and neon colored and look like they fell out of an anime. Most of the ones I've checked out seem like pointless features anyhow. Sure, they may offer additional speed or comfort. But are most joggers really marathon training, or using their gear so much that performance is an issue? I doubt it. It seems more like conspicuous consumption to me.

So my gear (or lack thereof) works for me for now. I get some funny looks here and there, but when you're jogging who really pays attention to anyone else?

Improvised

After the long preliminary jog, I was way too sore the next day to jog again. But I still needed to exercise, so I decided to try something different, for the days I couldn't or didn't want to job. I came up with an exercise plan that was both slapdash and hastily put together. Nonetheless, it was surprisingly effective, all things considered.

I decided to spend the 30 minutes doing some basic exercises that I knew how to do. This is a laughably small number, consisting of jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups. To keep in simple (and to keep my hear rate up) I decided on reps on 50. I alternated between sit-ups and push-ups with a round of jumping jacks in between each to keep it challenging. As this was my initial trial, I let it take as long as it needed to happen. I got about as far as two sets of sit ups before I could barely get to 15. Jumping jacks were no problem, and I compensated with extra push-ups. I can still feel the muscles in my stomach and arms. It's not exactly a pain or ache, but I can definitely feel muscles I wasn't feeling before.

I have never really tried to do anything like that before, so for a first time it went pretty well. I will definitely need to vary my exercises and come up with an actual routine though. Otherwise, it's only going to end in injury. Of that, I'm sure

Mantra

My jogging has been far more successful than it has ever been before. In part, this is due to my increased motivation (however self-inflicted). But I have accidentally hit upon another factor.

Every time I've gone jogging, I have always listened to music. And I do mean every time; I've never gone jogging without it. My thinking was that it would keep me distracted from the jogging itself, which is what I really don't like. This is sound reasoning in theory, but fails to work in practice. My brain could not trick my body when it knew I was trying to trick it. If anything, I would say I would get tired more quickly, as I focussed in on the fact I was paying no attention to the music and could barely hear it anyway. In other words, it knocked me out of concentration instead of into it.

Well, the first time I went jogging this month, I found that my phone had died just before I was ready to go. Having finally psyched myself up to go, I didn't want to wait for it to charge and left without it. Once again, this was the first time I had ever done so.

Well, it worked incredibly well. Without the music distracting me, I very quickly got into the zone and was able to focus on what I was doing and also kind of let my mind wander. Previously, I would set some goal for myself of how far or long I was going to job and just barely make it every time. This time, right out of the gate, I went an extra 15 minutes and felt great about it once I got home (as opposed to sweaty and miserable, I was merely sweaty). True, I was pretty sore afterward. But this was due to a lack of proper warming up, something easily remedied. I actually look forward to the jog now, a definite change. Hopefully, I can make it last!

Leg Cramps

Things got off to a bang with a nice long jog, my first since last summer. I prefer to jog outside, which is rather hard to do in the dead of winter even you are highly motivated (which I am not). While I have used a treadmill at various times before, I am not a fan. I find it extremely difficult to maintain my interest jogging this way, since there isn't really anything to distract you. Sure, sometimes there is a TV above the treadmills at the gym, or a little glowing counter on the dashboard.  But that doesn't really do it for me.

When I jog outside, I am able to spur myself on by setting arbitrary landmarks to hit as I continue on my way. For instance, keep going until you hit that tree, and then until you hit that next sign post. With that motivation, I can keep going longer, even after I am starting to wear down. Using this method, I was able to continue my jog past the point I intended. I had planned to go for half an hour and ended up jogging for 45 minutes, as I kept finding new mini-goals to hit.

It was exhilarating to jog after so long, and so I kept going for longer than I should have. So when I was done, my legs were extremely sore. I tried to take proper precautions before and after by stretching my leg muscles. It was only a minor stiffness at first that grew more sore as the night continued. I did some more stretches right before bed, and by the time I woke up it had abated. Next time, I'll have to be more careful, especially with a month of exercise ahead.

The Month Of Exercise!

I don't take care of myself properly.

I don't exercise, and lead a fairly sedentary life. Even though I am still fairly active (I bike to most of my destinations, and enjoy taking long walks), I also spend a lot of my day stationary. When I get into a show or video game, I can sit with it forever, until my butt is sore.

As well, my diet is far from ideal. I will use the excuse that I am always in motion, shifting between jobs and am rarely home enough to allow me to cook at home. My girlfriend does most of the heavy lifting when it comes to meals, and thankfully she leans towards healthier fare. Left to my own devices, I will eat the grossest, fattiest, saltiest foods imaginable; there is no novelty food too extreme for me to at least sample.

Despite some half-hearted attempts in the past to be more in shape, I still have never managed more than a couple of days a week for a couple of weeks before I rationalize my sore muscles as reason to stop. So this month I hit upon a different idea.

Instead of going without a bad thing, let's include a good thing! I have never managed to make a regimen stick before, so this month is where I make it happen! This month's rule!

1) Exercise. Every. Single. Day.
I am a total novice at this so expect mixed results. I have never joined a gym before (except for a brief period a few years ago for a month), so I will probably try and at least do a trial at one of those. I am also going to say the time I will spend of this will be no less than 30 minutes a day, but with no cap. Who knows what will happen? I don't!

So far today, I have biked uphill to one job and back again going as fast as possible and arriving way faster than my previous best time. Tonight, I plan to go jogging. Wish me luck!

Technologically Un-Impaired

Well, here we are at the end of the month, and I can honestly say this has been the easiest challenge of them all. Unlike the dietary challenges, this one was much easier to maintain, as I was solely fighting a mental and not a physical craving. Against my will, I would crave meat, sugar, or caffeine, and felt miserable in their absence. When I craved some video game action or the like, I just shrugged it off and did something else. It was quickly no trouble at all to ignore.

Not to say there was no pain. At first, I struggled to fill my time. This led to a sort of depression, as I felt all I did with my life was passively watch and surf (the internet, not the ocean. That would be awesome). But I began to realize that my life was more full due to the increased reading and time spent outside. Therefore my views changed and I was happy to have removed this unnecessary part of my life.

So much time was wasted by me on passively switching my mind off. I suppose that's the big difference: even though reading is physically passive, the brain is forced to be active. And therefore the quality of time is better and you feel your nights and weeks are longer/better.

I will absolutely go back to watching TV, playing video games, and using the internet. Hell, I doubt I could give up podcasts if I tried! But I highly recommend trying this challenge out. It has really given me a different perspective on my life and my free time. Hopefully, I will be able to compartmentalize to their appropriate places as a part of my life instead of the dominant factor.

Next month: the month of exercise!

Willpower

No matter how much you like reading, there comes a moment where you simply get bored and can't read any more. Due to this, I have become much more tidy and active throughout the day, as I seek to alleviate my boredom and temper my restlessness.

My apartment is cleaner, and chores like laundry and waste disposal are completed with much greater frequency. The little niggling chores I used to avoid for weeks (like paying bills, picking up groceries, and scheduling appointments) are completed promptly. Since I am eager not to overdose on reading, I eagerly seek stuff out to do before this happens. I am also more likely to switch tasks after a couple of hours.

Case in point: last Sunday, I went out for an early brunch, then spent a couple hours reading. I went home and watched a DVD before heading back out to go to an expo. I went back home to eat some dinner before meeting up with my friend and catching the end of the NBA playoffs. Finally, I went home.

This is not the kind of day I would likely have had a month ago. The day would have ended with the DVD, as I switched over to watching something else and vegetating. I lacked the self-control to stop myself, which I suppose is a theme of this whole challenge. I am bad at impulse control even though I have fairly strong willpower. Without an incentive, I simply do whatever I feel like.

Going Clean

Outside of typing these posts, and the occasional use of a computer at work, I have not used a computer all month. And frankly, I'm glad that I haven't been. Anytime I must use a computer for a prolonged period of time (such as today for instance), I begin to settle into the chair in a weird way. My body does not want to be sitting for such a long time. And my eyes start to feel weird. Not hurt exactly, but a weird sort of unpleasant dulling sensation.

I quickly start to feel as though my brain is less responsive, and I seek any excuse to get up and walk around. When my day is done, I am relieved and my desire to spend any time online or otherwise with my phone or computer.

Sure, I still can't wait until I am free to do as I please again. But I also feel like I will be far less inclined to spend time idly. I actually tried going on Facebook today and immediately got so bored and felt so numb that I switched it back off almost immediately. I wanted to engage with it, but just couldn't maintain interest.

Ties

 I am a social creature who is uncomfortable around people. I love to engage people in conversations, make jokes, and generally be out in the world absorbing the sights, sounds and other sense stimuli. Or rather, I did like this, stopped doing it, and have been learning to love it again.

As previously mentioned, I have picked up some silly anti-social behaviors as of late. Because of the stresses and time commitments, I have been unable (and frankly, unwilling) to make plans with friends and family.

For the most part, I would say I am a fairly decent planner. I worked hard to organize nights out and to make arrangements to see my friends as often as I could. I was the one who would bully and cajole people into a night on the town. I was the one who would have a party and think carefully about who to invite so that my eclectic mix of strangers who mesh well.

Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that as a goal, and lost touch with many friends. I stopped being the instigator, and so I stopped getting together with people. Certainly, the blame is not solely on me, as my friends could have also contacted me if I failed to contact them. But I am equally to blame in this case, as everyone always has a million things going on in their adult lives that need attending.  

So once again I am making the effort to be an arranger. There is nothing more gratifying than spending time with ones friends and loved ones.

Passing Fancy

My interest in acquiring new skills and abilities has reawakened! Like many people, I have had lofty goals about learning a new language, picking up an instrument, and learning to draw (just to name a few).

However, I also haven't really done anything about building proficiency in these skills. Sure, every few months I'll make an attempt at a beginner lesson in French or I noodle around on an instrument. But this only happens for a couple of days or weeks before it is shelved again, not to be remembered.

For the past year or so, I have been busy. First with school, then work. All while trying to maintain a healthy work-life balance (I haven't been very successful). I would go an entire school term without a day in which I wasn't working or at school. I dropped pretty much everything in my life just to keep going forward and succeed during this difficult period. In order to unwind, I would vegetate and become an utterly passive binge watcher. I didn't read, write, or pursue health or hobby. I just existed to get through the moment.

That desire to learn and know had not abated in me, but merely lay dormant. Only now, after a harsh and bitter winter, can I finally say I feel the urge to grow as a person swell up again. It is a good feeling. I mean to make it last.

Wasting Away

I hadn't realized it sooner, but I don't spend my time well. This is not to say I waste it, but that I am very likely to fall into patterns of behavior that become habits. I am very prone to continuing to do a task I enjoy until the point it no longer becomes enjoyable anymore. For instance, when I worked as a server, I would get home late at night, and fell into watching TV or catching up on a show to unwind after a late night. Well, a single hour would lead to two, and then three. Eventually I was staying up until 4, 5, or even six in the morning just binge watching stuff. And that wasn't me at college age, but my more recent, supposedly more mature age!

It got to the point that I wasn't waking up until noon at the earliest. I tried to break the pattern, but found I had created a vicious habit and cycle. It was hard to go to bed before 2 because I just wasn't tired. And it didn't have lingering consequences to my life at that time, since I worked at night and was single. My motivation to reform was easily sapped. Eventually, school and a different job conspired to force me to amend my habits, but it was a long and slow process. I had many a night of very little sleep in preparation for an 8am class, where I simply could not sleep.

I bring this up because I am aware of how I have become so attached to the idea of down-time after work that I have fallen into the same habit of coming home after work and immediately vegetating. Yes, now I am reading instead of binge watching. But again, I am maintaining the bad habit that I wished to avoid nonetheless. The only difference now is I feel more likely to get up and move around after a bit of reading. Reading is great, and can separate you from the outside world. But I find it hard to completely zone out in the same way. Hopefully I can maintain this new behavior, with enough practice. 

Podcasting

So an interesting thing has occurred. Feeling a bit of nostalgia or craving (take your pick) for podcasts, I realized I still had a couple of podcasts kicking around on my phone from a long while ago. So I decided to listen to them as a lark.

The thing is, I got really bored very quickly. Don't get me wrong; there are some really great and engaging podcasts. I still really enjoy the comedy podcasts I listen to, but those are professional comedians and improvisers who deliver great performances in order to gain more exposure and get their name out. These shows, such as Comedy Bang Bang and improv4humans, are as good and funny as any show on TV.

But I also listened to a lot of shows that are just filler and act as background noise. Most of them could be defined as "talking head" shows; the format is always interview style with special guests and the whole content is derived from that. While there is nothing new or wrong in that, it does get a little tiresome when you consider the thousands of podcasts out there following this model. Merely emulating the radio interview style (which most do, with more adult language) has lost its charm for me, and just seems dull.

Tap-Tap-Tap

I listened to so many podcasts so frequently throughout the week that I always had headphones on throughout the day while I was travelling. This has become so much the norm that I scarcely ever had them off my head while I was on my own. While I have listened to music in some instances this month, I still listen much less frequently, as I get bored much more easily with music and my mind starts to wander. So the headphones are off more than on these days.

As a result,  I have come to notice and appreciate the ambient sounds and noise of a city that hit your ears as you make your way around.* Snippets of conversations, the sound of footsteps, the rattle of a dog collar: all are pleasant to my ears. Perhaps it is still a novelty for me, and I will soon tire of it. But I think it has as much to do with simply letting your ears be passive recipients to the world around you, instead of actively noticing the angry honking or cars and so forth as I used to do. Headphones were used to block out the bad, but they blocked out the good as well.  

*It's worth noting the apparent contradiction to my previous post a couple of days ago, decrying the background white noise at home. This is different from the natural and organic noise caused by a city and its thousands of citizens in the act of living. That is an artificial blockage that one creates themselves. The former is engaging the world around you, albeit in a passive way.

Technicalities

I will admit, I haven't totally avoided using my smartphone. I have found it necessary to check the weather before I leave the house, or to see when the next bus or streetcar is coming. While this is technically cheating, I don't really believe it's a problem. The reason I went into this was to avoid the more addictive qualities of technology. Quickly checking the weather or ETA is informative and convenient, but addictive it is not.

As I have said, I needed access to my e-mail this month for various work purposes and communication. And I need to be able to type in order to document the process as well. So my contact with my phone is greatly reduced. What I have noticed when I do go to use it for utilitarian purposes is that it feels hard to use and foreign to me, like I recently acquired one for the first time. I get annoyed at it very easily and I feel using it to be a nuisance. It's gone back to being a tool I use, but unlike a wrench or roll of tape, one I view with increasing belligerence.

White Noise

You never realize how accustomed you are to background noise until you don't have it anymore. Because of music, podcasts, TV, and movies, I almost always had something generating noise in the background. Now that I more or less have done without it for the last month, I am well aware its lacking in my life.

Since I am without it, I feel it was having an adverse effect that I scarcely realized. Having background noise has a sort of dulling effect on the mind, and makes it harder to organize your thoughts. In my case, while I can say I wasn't in a stupor, I definitely wasn't thinking as clearly as now. I mean, this is the effect my smartphone has also had on my brain. It scatters your thoughts, makes you forget what you set out to do, and makes you uncommunicative to those around you. Ask any parent of a kid with an iPhone and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's definitely causing a communication gap in society, as friends and couples sit around the dinner table or in a bar, not speaking and staring down.

 Well, the fog has lifted in my case. I feel as though I have access to thoughts both good and bad that simply did not exist a short time ago. My brain seems better able to process  and recall information, and my memory seems to be better. Who can say the cause of this is, but I feel there must be a correlation between a lack of addictive screen time and my perceived mental improvement.

The Upward Limit

I'm sick of reading. It's finally happened, at exactly the point I get tired of all these challenges throughout the month. Except I'm not dying to watch TV or play video games. Although I would certainly like to do those things, I don't feel it as a senseless beating drum of a compulsion as I did for say, coffee or meat. I merely seek them out as something else to do.

I don't want to give it up. Rather, I have just reached the upward limit of how much I can read in a day. Although I didn't think it was possible, I believe the limit I set out for TV/Video games (2-3 hours) also applies to reading. That is, unless you are switching what you are reading every so often. I like to have a couple different books on the go right now as it keeps things interesting.

However, it can also cause me to have trouble keeping the stories and their details straight. I've found the plots end up melding in weird ways or that you start noticing plot similarities between them that may or may not exist. But I enjoy that , as you may be seeing patterns that no one else has ever seen, as no one has ever read the both of them back to back. I'm speculating of course, but it's a neat idea.

As a postscript, this has me wondering if this 2-3 hour period is just the longest I can comfortably focus on anything. I have noticed I get a bit fidgety after this much time, fun activity or no. maybe this simply doesn't apply to everyone, and I should just apply this to everything in my life.

Mind And Body

I fear that I am just supplanting one vice with another. Yes, I am not wasting time on my smartphone anymore. But I am still mostly sitting around and not doing much on my off-time. I'm reading like a demon and consuming books like food. Yet this has led to even more sitting around, since reading is largely a passive experience that does not engage the body.
So I feel entirely more lazy and prone to sitting around. Because of the sudden shift of weather back towards freezing, I have even stopped biking to and from work as I had been most of the winter!

My mind is entirely more active, but my body is not. If I didn't work a job that did not allow me to sit, I would be in real trouble. Nonetheless, my butt is sore, and i have developed a cramped muscle in my knee. Even though reading is more mentally stimulating than TV, it also encourages a lot of stillness and a lack of movement. I also find my mind is always going on in the background right now, churning and processing thoughts of all sorts. Maybe I'm too used to the numbing effects of TV and the dulling effect it has on the mind. Usually, we view this as a bad thing and it certainly is. But as with anything, a bit in moderation can be good. In the modern world where information is screaming at us, a bit of numbing can be a good thing, and can slow your mind down just enough. It can be a form of cheap and simple meditation that wipes the troubles away.

A bit ludicrous, I agree. But I told you my mind was really churning these days.

Lists

A list if things I miss this month:

- YouTube
- Facebook conversations
- Funny Twitter updates
- Web comics
- Playing video games
- Podcasts
- Vegging out and binge watching Netflix
- Clicking on links people post in e-mails
- Stumbleupon
- Looking stuff up and getting an instant answer


A list of things I don't miss this month:

- YouTube comments sections
- Facebook spam
- Facebook ads
- Facebook requests
- Wading through a ton of incomprehensible Tweets to find a funny one
- memes
- Playing online video games
- Instant news on inane topics
- Trying to find something to watch on Netflix
- Stupid time wasting smartphone games
- Broken links on posts
- Buzzfeed
- The compulsive need to check my phone every 2 minutes
- Endless, endless Star Wars

2-Bit Player

I was just a kid when the first NES came out, and so like many my age video games have been a part of my life ever since. I grew up with them, and always had at least one of the consoles every generation. So to say I play, and have played a lot of video game would be an understatement.

I used to be a lot more indiscriminate in what I would play. Any old game would do as long as it was supposed to be good. Or going further back, if it was one of the few games I had. Nowadays though, I have graduated to more complicated fare, and found that I really only get sucked into the really unusual games or the ones with very fresh concepts. And I just don't have the time I used to have to play them. The problem is, I get really sucked into these when I do manage, to the exclusion of other things. I am very much an addict then, ignoring the outside world, hunger, thirst, bowel movements (oh yes). 

Perhaps I have not mentioned this before, but I really hate feeling like I need to do something, or that I am addicted. It's a feeling that stems from childhood. My mother was a big smoker, and I always vowed I would never pick up the habit. Because of this, I am very sensitive to the idea that I might be addicted to anything and become leery of it when I feel I am becoming dependent. 

So while I love video games and have no desire to part from them, it is that very same sensation that tells me I should take a break, just in case.

Cheap Trick

An activity I have been actively pursuing and enjoying this month is listening to music. Not just listening while doing other things, but attempting to do nothing else and simply let the music overtake you. Sometimes I have done this while walking, preferably in a quiet place, and letting the experience in that moment overtake you entirely. Other times, I have done this at home, alone or otherwise. I will sit and stare, out the window or at the ceiling. I clear my head and merely let my mind wander where it will. Sometimes I will be in bed or lay down for a nap when I do this, music playing softly nearby. I will shut my eyes and let my imagination conjure pictures for me, stirred by emotion or sensation.

Music is an experience, or can be. This doesn't apply to all music or all people equally. What I enjoy may be boring to you or vice versa. Much like my complaint about TV, the problem seems to be music is too easy for us to get and so we don't value it as highly as when it was a rare commodity. Bad music has always been readily available on the radio and in supermarkets and the like for free. I remember buying music on a CD, and actually treasuring it, listening to it dozens of times like it was a prize. Partly, this was youth. But scarcity also increase desire. The less you have, the more you feel attached to what little you get. 

Take my brother, having grown up post internet (he was a baby when Napster was a thing). He's never lived in a world without downloading music. This doesn't mean he doesn't like music or enjoy it. But his relationship with it is different from mine and always will be. The first time he felt the thrill of ownership was when he started a record collection, and actually had to make a decision about what to buy (or more precisely, what not to buy). The ready availability of virtually any music at your fingertips has made it easier to get than ever, but has cheapened the experience for most, who no longer have any idea what to listen to beyond what they already know. How do you know whether you like Nirvana or the Rolling Stones and why bother finding out? Download the whole discography and simply listen to it! Later though, there's like a thousand songs there.

Writer's Block

I wanted to write this month. Don't get me wrong, I am aware this blog is an almost constant stream of my writing. But that's sort of the point, it is a kind of off the top of my head writing I am doing here with very little prep beyond deciding on a topic and riffing off of it. I know what you're going to say! I know this is no doubt shocking, as the blog seems so well planned and cohesive. But it's true!

The writing I am talking about is fiction, something I have struggled with for a long time. Even though I am able to express myself fairly well, I tend to fall apart when I am not relating my ideas and trying to tell a story. For whatever reason, when I try to create a story, I am never able to articulate the points properly. I get stuck in explaining and never tell the story. Rather, I describe the story.

Partly, I have trouble reading and writing on a computer screen. Something about the glare tires my eyes out, and I very quickly zone out as a result. Partly it is also the poor weather. Since I was looking to do some writing outside to avoid the computer problem, the consistently wet or cold or both weather has caused some major impediments. I have made some abortive attempts inside, but I also find it to be a dreary affair.

So to recap: I need perfect weather in which I can write outside, relative silence so I can focus, and ample time. I have all of these things in ample measure and have still not managed to make it happen, and the month is half over. I am reminded of a quote by Bukowski, in which he says there are no ideal conditions under which to create. If you have the drive and urge to make something, you will make something, regardless of when and where you are. The rest is just excuses. So I'm forced to ask myself: Do I really want to do it? Am I capable?

Overexertion

I'm enjoying focus. Instead of feeling like my attention is divided all the time and that I require constant stimulation, I have rid myself of the habit of multitasking as part of my entertainment. I mentioned previously that I am easily bored and always seek stimuli. While this is certainly still true, I am talking about a related problem.

You see, since the advent of streaming/downloading video and smartphones, I have noticed the tendency to never pay attention to whatever it is I am doing while supposedly watching TV. I get highly irritable and impatient with any kind of waiting when doing anything with a computer or the internet. While this is not responsible for my general twitchiness, it certainly has aggravated the condition. For example, I would play video games, listen to podcasts or internet radio, and check my phone during load times. After a couple of weeks of deprivation, the mere idea of doing this seems very alien. Beyond watching stuff, I don't feel nearly as fragmented when I am doing any activity. It no longer feels like I am in 8 places at once. I still crave an active mind, but now I need a single thing to occupy it.    

Attention

I've been keeping to my movie length rule, which allows me to watch a DVD or movie in a day or the equivalent worth in a day. This means no binging or incidental watching; I need to know exactly what I want to watch or otherwise the time is lost. As I am extremely busy these days, I don't get much time in which to do this.

Combining these two factors, and I have really grown to appreciate the little amount of time I get in the day to watch a movie or a bit of a show. Unlike when you binge watch TV (as I have done, you have done, and everyone has done), you can really appreciate what you are watching much better if it is limited. I have noticed that as much as I love to watch compelling television (take your pick as an example: Breaking Bad, Kids In The Hall, Parks And Recreation), if you watch a whole bunch at once your mind goes numb and it becomes a lot less compelling. I have found the threshold of this to be 2-3 hours. This depends of the type of show and the length of an episode. If a show is half an hour long, then about 2 hours is 6 episodes, whereas with an hour long show you can watch 3. Putting a limit makes it much more enjoyable and you pay attention. If you start watching a show and really like it, it almost can be like a chore, something you must keeping doing and get through. I notice I stop paying attention when I watch too much. My mind wanders, I watch but don't see, I surf the internet. Now I can focus.

Watching

I wouldn't say I'm a TV addict, but rather a video addict. I'm sure there are those of you out there who are still primarily watching TV on a TV, but nowadays very little of my watching comes from there. Of course, I download and stream shows from the internet, but much of my video watching also comes from web series' and YouTube.

Sometimes the content is really good, sometimes not. That's the problem with web content, there's really no quality control as anyone can put up something if they want. Something most web content has in common though is it is endlessly watchable and usually not very challenging. You can watch and not watch and never be confused about what's going on. There is so much content that you can very easily fall down a YouTube hole and end up watching junky web clips or shows for hours. Make no mistake, there is a lot of great Web series, channels, and shows. But I just want to stop watching dumb wastes of time, which is unfortunately most of what's out there.

I want to watch shows and content written by people, and enjoy them in moderation. That would be a lot more sensible to me than hours of binge watching fail videos on YouTube.

Podmania

I love podcasts. I listen to them constantly, And have been heavily into them since I first got an internet capable device. There are more than 25 podcasts in my channel, and I regularly listen to more than 20 of them, most within the span of a week. I listen to them for hours every week, during travel time or in the background while doing other stuff. I have gone through their archives and listened to every podcast. In total, it's probably hundreds of hours of listening. I am an addict, and constantly need a fix.

Like the other challenges, this month I am trying to break my habit of over-consumption of a medium instead of something from my diet.  I have come to feel it is excessive and obsessive. In my defense, I listen to them in place of watching TV, and I also listen as I am out and about in the world. However, I also listen when I am playing video games or doing nothing at all, so they are a soundtrack to my life. And just like an addict, I feel as though I can;t do without them. More than internet, TV, or video games, I am much more at a loss without podcasts. Not listening to them has made me realize I had become really dependent on them when I was out in the world. It created a kind of tunnel vision in which I didn't pay attention to the world around me. Because they are voices talking, it distracts you from what's going on around you. You're still aware of the world around you, but you don't appreciate it as much.

It's different from listening to music when you're out, which can enhance the way you're feeling and your appreciation. It's something the long, long, winter made me forget.

Retooled

It's amazing how much clearer you think when you aren't constantly distracted by background noise or unintentionally zoning out on the internet. My mind feels entirely more active all the time and I seem to be more observant of the world around me. While it may not be true of everyone, I certainly find too much TV and the like to have a numbing effect that leaves me craving more and more. Not only do you stop paying attention to life but you also stop doing anything else. And the longer you do it, the less you feel like doing anything else.

I think we are fast approaching a saturation point with technology. The more indispensable it seems, the more of a backlash occurs with the next generation in line. I see it clearest in the form of my younger brother. At 12 years younger than me, he is a digital native. He has literally never known a world without the internet, in which piracy is the norm and virtually anything is available at his digital fingertips. And he has suffered a backlash because of it. He craves authentic experiences that happen to him personally, and greatly prefers physical media. He collects records and VHS tapes, not just because they're retro but because he feels like he actually owns it if he has them in this form. The younger generation is increasingly looking back to the past and to a time before the digital onslaught of the internet.

Make no mistake: the internet is here to stay, and I welcome it. It has become an invaluable tool for communication, commerce, and artistic expression. But like any tool, when we become overly reliant on it, it starts to cause problems in our lives and society. Just like a hammer, you should use it sparingly and only when necessary. No one wants to carry a hammer around all day.

Addiction

I have noticed the larger and larger part the internet has been playing in my life since the 21st century began, and it has only continued to grow now that we all carry around smartphones all the time. Whereas I once used to wish I had more time to read because it never felt like enough, I now wish I had time to read period. As though I had no choice but to watch a whole season of Breaking Bad, or play a video game for 6 hours, I would feel a pang of regret that I couldn't pull myself away and just read.

I guess my point is there is a definite addictive quality to technology of all types. Try setting deadline for how long you are allowed to stay on the internet, or watch a compelling TV show. You may be able to stop yourself, but just as likely you won't. It's very easy to overindulge, and you only need to look around when you are anywhere in public to realize what an epidemic this has become. Couples sit in restaurants and stare at their phones the whole time, and it seems like everybody on public transit can't help but stare at their phones. I know it to true. I used to be one of you.

Thresholds

As I said, I have been reading voraciously lately. While I do enjoy it, it is as much out of necessity as anything else. Something I have come to realize is I have a really low threshold for boredom. I think I have an overactive mind, because anytime I feel bored I have to alleviate it somehow as quickly as possible. This applies to everything in my life. While I certainly can appreciate a quiet moment here and there, my mind starts to scream if the sensory input I receive is not stimulating enough.

This can manifest itself in a bunch of different ways. At any job I've ever held, it makes me a conscientious worker since I keep switching tasks to be engaged. At home, once I get bored of reading, it has made me a chore machine in order to vary my activities. But like I said, in some situations, this can be a problem. In social events, I sometimes cannot contain my boredom and I can come across as brass and rude. Rather, I am being those things, almost in spite of myself. Let me be clear: I am not openly being a jerk, I simply mean I am gone quickly if I feel underwhelmed.

The point is, more chores and other unpleasant activities are much higher on my priority list since I don't have any massive time consuming hobbies to focus on anymore.

Literary Bent

Already I am feeling technologically stupid. I went to use my cell phone for some simple e-mail checking and found I was having difficulty doing it. Not that I didn't know how but rather that the process had become foreign to me, and I did not know how I acquired the knowledge as to its workings.

Without TV, internet, and video games, I am forced to read far more than usual, and I am always craving something new so that I have a variety of options at my disposal at all times. Looking at my bookshelf, I have 3 graphic novels unread on my shelf for just such an occasion. I got two from the library today, and I have already gone through them. The same is true of the three I checked out Saturday. I have a novel on the go as well, but I find I can only read so much of that before I need a change. I am reading Great Expectations, and I've never had much luck with Dickens. Although so far it is quite engaging, I must say. Since I work at the library, all I can see is more and more books that I would like to read, and suddenly feel I have all the time in the world to get through them. It's not strictly true since I'm busy with work. But it feels true, which is always a great motivator.

Lyrical

I don't "get" music.

Of course, I can appreciate the sounds of it, and enjoy listening to it. But I don't view it as an integral part of my existence the way some people seem to. As I've said, I'm a reader so I like to read album/artist reviews online and in print. When something is made to sound particularly good, I go out and pursue it but always end up disappointed. The descriptions provided by a music writer never seem to match up to reality in any meaningful way for me.

I bring this up to point out that I don't often go around town listening to music. I am usually plugged in, but I am listening to the radio or podcasts. I like to learn or hear interesting stories or comedy when I am on the go. Not that I haven't tried blasting some tunes. But within a few minutes, I get bored and lose interest, invariably switching off the music and doing something else.

Paradoxically, if I go too long without listening to music, I start to feel really down and have this strange craving, like you'd get for a cookie or bacon. It's hard to explain. But fulfilling this craving almost always happens at home and not out.

I have been remiss. Without being able to listen to anything else on the go, I finally understand what the hype is all about. Listening to music and just letting your mind wander, assuming it's the right music for the right mood and atmosphere, can really be uplifting and thought provoking in a very meaningful way. It's hard to explain in words, but it allows your mind to experience things better or in a more meaningful way. At least, that's how it seems to me today! 

Literacy

I like to read. Love it, in fact. I've been reader since I was a young age, and always enjoyed it. I always have book on the go, and go through crazy cycles of binge reading where I blast through a bunch of books. So I am regular reader. But while I do read plenty, I never feel as though it's enough. I always want to read more, especially if I am particularly engrossed in a book. I feel a sort of guilt if I spend too long doing something else like video games or just generally loafing around on the internet.

So here I am, with all the reading time in the world. I have read an almost obsessive amount since the beginning of the month. While I have enjoyed it so far, I can quickly feel I am getting too much of a good thing. Unlike a video game or binge watching a show, you can get sick of reading relatively quickly. I suspect this is because reading is much less of a passive activity than either of those. You actually need to be thinking about what you're doing and paying attention the whole time, or you're not able to continue. If I zone out for a couple of minutes while watching a show, it probably makes no difference. If you start zoning out while reading, you can end up not absorbing any information from the page, and reading the same couple of paragraphs over and over. This is one of the absolute worst things in reading, and is a good you should stop and pick it up again later.

To combat this, I have switched from just reading books to other reading material as well: magazines, comics, newspapers. I find it uses a different part of your brain, and keeps you more engaged. I've gotten through two books and a couple of comics already, with more to come. My girlfriend predicts I'll be able to get through 20 books this month. I don't know about that. The number seems high, but I've never concentrated solely on reading for this long before. So who knows?

Ulterior Motives

As all monthly challenges go, this one has an ulterior motive. Beyond simply limiting my television and internet consumption, I am looking to get a lot more reading done and force myself to go outside. With a winter seemingly never ending, I realized I fell into a bad habit of finishing work and just coming home and vegetating. I stopped hanging out with my friends, or going out for dinner or really anything out of house. I just binged on tv and video games.

With the weather far more seasonable, I have wanted to be outside more. I actually reached the point where I forgot what it was I liked about being outside! I know that sounds overly dramatic but it's true. Without the crutch of various time wasters, I've been forced to do more simply to keep myself more entertained. As much as I love reading, there's only so much you can do in a day. I'm forced to go outside, enjoy the weather, visit stores, talk to friends and make plans. I am motivated once more!

Google It

I kind of went a little crazy today. Even though I listened to music on my way to work, I felt the wistful loss of podcasts already. Yesterday on day 1 of this challenge, I was just so relieved to be able to eat meat and dairy that I didn't really think of the loss of anything else. I did feel a bit tired of reading towards the end of the day, but I chalked that up to the fatigue of the end of a work day. By the way, eating meat and dairy is amazing! I immediately felt better right from the get-go.

I keep feeling the urge to check my phone for different reasons, making me really aware of how much I relied on it. Or rather, how much I think I rely on it. For instance, I always check the weather to know what it'll be like outside before I leave in the morning. It's become a habit. But now that the worst of winter is over and it's kinda sorta spring, is it really necessary? Probably not. But it seems so important!

Or a couple of times already I've had the urge to check Google or look something up. Now, I never normally even want to do this, but the simple fact that I can't makes it seem oh so enticing.

In related news: I came up with a good rule regarding DVDs. I have to acquire them from outside the house (as in, I can't watch ones I already own) and I can't watch more than the standard movie length in a day, about an hour and a half to two hours. I think this is a fair rule, but is it in keeping with this month's challenge? Time will tell.

Technology-Free!

I'm going to break away from tradition this month and try something different. Up til now, all the challenges have been attempts to alter my diet and lead me to have a more healthy lifestyle. This month, instead of tackling bad eating habits, I am just going to tackle one of my bad habits.
Like most of you out there, I have developed an unhealthy relationship with the technology in my life. I am constantly on the internet for one reason or another, I play a ton of video games, and I watch tons of videos online and off. While I wouldn't say I am addicted to these things, I would say my consumption is excessive and unhealthy. I mean, break it down. How much time in a day do you spend on just your phone? Or how often do you go on Facebook or Twitter "just to check something," and end up wasting 20 minutes?
Since the weather outside has finally stopped being frigid, I would also like to be outside more, enjoying the sun and the wider world. I love listening to podcasts, but feel I am missing out on the world when I go out, since I am always listening to them these days. I am trying to break myself of hermity behaviour.
Well, I have had it. So for this month, I will be foregoing all of it in favor of reading and sun. Here are the rules this month!

1) No Internet
Fairly straightforward I think. This includes no Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Netflix, or any other site. There are two exceptions. One,  will need to use my computer to be able to type these posts. That will be the one time I will use it at home. As well, as part of my job I am required to check my e-mail relatively frequently, so I will check it once a day out of work necessity. My smartphone will go back to the old style dumb phone with only text and call capability. While this also means no podcasts, I will be able to listen to music, as I would on a Walkman/Discman back in the day.

2) No TV
I will watch no TV at all, or videos online, Netflix, or other video stuff. I will avoid them completely. In order to not go completely mad, I will still be able to go and see movies as long as I leave the house. I haven't decided yet, but I may allow myself to rent DVDs of movies as well.

3) No Video Games
I will play no video games of any type. No exceptions. I'll probably bust out the board games at some point.
And that's it! Here's to partying like it's 1945 or so!

Conclusions

Here we are at the end of the month and I frankly couldn't be happier. Although the meals were not nearly as unpleasant as I expected, they were just as difficult to find as I thought. Things like coffee with soy are good, and you can get used to them, but eventually you get sick of them, due to lack of variety. Seriously, I hope not to see an eggplant or soy again for a long while.

I am not against the vegan lifestyle, or the principles it espouses. However, it's not a choice I think anyone could reasonably make for the rest of their lives. It's easy to avoid any one of the things on a regular grocery list, such as red meat, fish, cheese, or honey. But all of them? Forever? Any vegetarian or vegan that I know personally (beyond casually) simply cannot maintain the rigors of a strict vegan diet all the time. It's why vegetarians eat eggs and dairy still, it's hard to the point of impossibility to eat vegan all the time without eating gross  cheese or yogurt substitutes. Yes, those are fine if they're all you had, but we have the real thing, you know? It's sort of like eating according to a gluten-free diet when you're not allergic (it's needlessly complicated).

At first, I felt a lot better because I was forced to eat less fatty, high salt foods and takeaway. But then I found other versions of these things to consume and I continued on my merry way. Craving snacks and foods with recognizable flavors, I definitely ate a variety of high salt and sugary foods, just looking for something to satisfy my cravings. And towards the very end, I felt a major drain of energy and vitality. So I don't think the lifestyle was particularly healthy in my case either.

Finally, I felt I had to be policing my thoughts and my food all the time, obsessively checking labels to make sure foods were vegan and finding to my surprise that many foods I though were safe were not, or had some secret dairy ingredient about which I didn't know. It was taxing just to try and find a grab and go lunch, and so I often resorted to eating the same thing over and over again until I was completely tired of it. I actually would grow stressed about what to eat, especially if i was tired or really hungry. I would be paralyzed by what felt like a lack of options and just grow crankier and more upset as my blood sugar tanked.

I recommend this diet to every single carnivore and omnivore on the planet. It's important to know and really experience what it's like without animal products in your diet or your life. I know I will work to reduce the amount of meat I consume in the coming days. Just not seven days a week. 

Sickly

I've really started to feel the lack of animal protein in my diet. Like I've said previously, I have been feeling a little queasy and constipated as of late, which is strange as I eat a ton of high fibre foods. Something I have found about a lack of animal protein in my diet is soy protein doesn't seem to be absorbed into my body as quickly as say, a steak. I am keenly aware of my cravings for meat due to protein. Remember when I said I was not having unconscious cravings? That has changed, and visions of hamburgers are dancing in my heads. As it's so close to the end of the month, I have begun to plan my big meat reintegration meal.

I am waffling, but it's down to two contenders. Either the sushi buffet where I can eat a ton of seafood mixed in with vegetables and other simple meat dishes. Or I can have Korean barbecue, so I can eat a ton of meat and be forced to pace myself due to cooking times, with the occasional vegetable to mix it up. I don't think there will be as much trouble for my body to begin eating meat again as it will be to reintroduce dairy. Expect a stark and frankly gross bowel movement report!

Juiced

It's silly to say, but I haven't really been getting enough fruit in my diet. Although I was hoping to use my month of veganism to eat more healthy, I have definitely skimped on the fruit part. I haven't actively avoided it or anything, it's just that I keep seeming to miss out on it. Thus, it was only this week I finally worked in a juice bar visit or two. It has made all the difference, as lately I have felt out of sorts.

My stomach has been feeling really bloated lately, and I feel sort of seasick. My opinion, although I cannot corroborate this, is that I am lacking in nutrients of some sort or another. The thing about being vegan is I find it very hard to get all the nutrients I need without actively seeking them out. And even when you seek them out, they are often in their rawest form. So not only are you actively considering all the things you cannot eat, you need to be thinking about all the things you need to eat all the time. It's very mentally taxing, nothing unbearable but something that would definitely become annoying in the long-term.

Coming Out

You may have gotten the feeling I am embarrassed or shy about talking about this monthly challenge. This is not the case. Personally, I find it annoying to listen to people discuss their dietary restrictions. It's probably the most boring conversation you can have, and it is completely vain and one sided. The other person can't add anything to the discussion unless they are similarly afflicted.

Or you open yourself up to all sorts of philosophical discussions with people. When I mentioned it off-hand to someone whom I know casually, it ends up giving them a chance to make a casual quip, or a dumb and uninformed remark. Some people get their backs up discussing this issue; it's as though they find vegans personally offensive. Again, I want to state that despite my heavy handed comments, I am not against veganism but I have definitely concluded it's not for me. I don't want to open that can of worms, and rather than do so I keep away from the topic entirely, unless it comes up naturally. But it's not a conversation I want to have, especially since I don't have an actual reason for doing it. I am not morally opposed and it is not for my heath. "Just because" isn't always a good enough answer.

Steak Envy

I've reached the point that I have started craving meat, like all the time. Although I have been consistently aware of meat, I have been successful at compartmentalizing. I think about meat or have a craving, and I just think about something else. I make sure to eat a food that's vegan friendly and get myself full, or at least not satisfied enough to not crave it anymore.

Well, that's stopped working. I am in the final phase of all of these monthly challenges where I have daydreams about whatever I've given up. Even though I am complaining a lot this month about being vegan, it has been a lot easier than any other challenge. It's a major lifestyle change, one that is for the better. But as I have said, it's more than I think I could commit to for a long period of time. And it's so easy to screw up!

Meat cravings are bad, but they are easy to ignore and don't last long. Plus, they are more conscious, brought on by a burger ad on the side of a bus, or an errant smell wafting from somewhere near by. But just like those things, the craving disappears once they have. A coffee craving was an unreasoning, unconscious desire that I had no control over. I could ignore it, but it was always there. Now I have a imitation soy chicken strip, and I am good to go! Until I get sick of them.

Mistakes Were Made

I've written a bit about how I have made innocent errors. Now I realize I do not have the mental fortitude to ever become truly vegan. It just takes too much out of you.

As I have been extremely busy with work as of late, I have not had much opportunity to cook food for myself and rely on some regular places to grab a quick bite. Most frequently of all, I have been going to a local burrito place and having a yam burrito without dairy. This manages to keep me full without violating the tenets of veganism. Or so I thought. Unfortunately, yesterday I went in and asked for the veggie burrito with no dairy, the guy behind the counter told me that their burrito sauce has a mayonnaise base.

I have been eating a ton of these things! Easily, 2 or 3 a week since the beginning of the month! Now really, I had no idea this was an issue. When they said burrito sauce, I envisioned a thin hot sauce with pepper and sugar and so on. I certainly didn't taste a sauce that was thick with mayonnaise. Then again, since I always had guacamole when I ate one of these, it would be difficult to taste. But I didn't know!

Which comes back to mental fortitude. I never even considered the possibility of this, because I lacked the vigilance to truly be vegan. If you are really vegan, you would need to be vegan for every second of the day and paying close attention to everything that goes into your body. Sounds like a good idea, I know, but how could you ever do that forever? I mean, and not go crazy?

Fried

My weight has gone down, and I feel more healthy. This is the direct result of being vegan this month. As I am unable to eat out (for the most part), I am forced to choose healthy options more frequently. Instead of french fries and gravy, I have avocado sushi almost every day. Instead of burgers, I make mini soy cheese pizzas. While I definitely feel more energetic, I also feel hampered by a total lack of options. I am not much of a cook by nature, and tend to lean on certain foods as stand-bys.

For example, one of my favorite snacks is apple sauce or yogurt with crackers. Assuming I use soy yogurt, this is still a completely viable option for me. But because I am so limited in my choices, I have prematurely grown sick of it. This is probably more to do with feeling limited in my options than actually being limited. But what can I do? Just keep bashing my head against the wall that is March until a solution is found, or I go crazy. Both work.

Soyed Out

I've mentioned previously that I have grown tired of soy milk due to overconsumption. Slow witted as I am, I forgot there are alternatives to soy that I wasn't touching upon. I thought I might review a couple of them to get a little variety into my diet.

The first is almond milk. More properly, almond milk beverage. Some soy based drinks attach this word to their product as well instead of milk. I am grossed out by this. That's because it implies it is a totally artificial beverage, like those real cheap fruit drinks and cocktails that are really just flavored sugar water with no nutritional content whatsoever. I opted for the chocolate flavour, since the last time I had almond milk it was the original flavor and it was absolutely awful. It tasted like just like you would expect, water and ground up almonds.

The chocolate flavor was actually not bad, and quite enjoyable. The appearance leaves a lot to be desired however. As my girlfriend so delicately put it, when you're pouring it into the glass it looks like someone horked a loogie into a glass of chocolate soy. It separates as it pours into a weirdly oily fluid and milky one. I realize I make it sound utterly unappealing, but the truth of it is I downed it quickly. It tastes very comparable to chocolate soy, although a bit weaker in flavor. I finished the liter package in about a day and a half, so that's saying something. Plus, they fortify it with calcium so it still has all the soy benefits.

Not so with option two. Another milk replacement, this drink is hailed as "coconut non-dairy beverage" (there's that word again). Again, I went with the chocolate option, fearing the worst of the original. I was right to be concerned, this one is awful. It has a very weak flavor, and what you do taste is a weird mix of chocolate and a watery texture, like you mixed chocolate powder and water. Worse of all, it has almost no health benefits, is high in saturated fats and has no calcium OR vitamin C (coconuts are very high in vitamin C naturally so I can't even imagine what's in this drink!) I would strongly suggesting avoiding this one. I had high expectations, since I love coconut milk and coconut water. But I was VERY let down.

Next I'll try fortified rice beverages and see how they taste. Hopefully, more like a milk and less like a "beverage".

Social Obligations

I am vegan by choice. All vegans are of course, that's one thing they all have in common. However, I am a temporary vegan who is not actually ideologically aligned with the cause. As such, I find it a difficult conversation to have with people. Twice this week, I went to dinner and felt awkward about broaching the topic. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't due to shyness or anything like that. Rather, I guess it was a sort of embarrassment.

As I said, not actually being a vegan for real, it seemed remarkably hard position to justify with a "just because" answer when asked. I don't really believe in it, it's just a weird sociological experiment I've chosen to undergo. And I frankly would be mortified if someone felt they had to accommodate my made up dietary restrictions. It would be quite a different matter if I was allergic or something, as that would be a matter of survival. But it isn't. That's another thing that strikes me as disingenuous about veganism: the choosing of a dietary restriction for an arbitrary reason and expecting the larger world to put up with that. Yes, it is with a moral conviction, and who am I to say otherwise? But I will not be that kind of vegan, if I can possibly help it. It's just not in my personality. 

On Reliable Writing

One of the major issues I have encountered when I started this blog is finding things to write about each and every day. Many times, I have not succeeded, and this has led to sporadic and random postings at times. First and foremost, I need to point out that the timing of my starting this blog could not have been worse. Almost as soon as I came up with the concept, I started two new part-time jobs that eat away at my free time and prevent me from writing as much as I would like. At times, it has been a slog to muster the strength to write anything throughout the day or to spend that last 20 minutes before bed coming up with content for the day.

Frankly, this is a very good excuse, but that is truly what is: an excuse. When I actually have a good idea or two for a blog post, I blast it out right away or am excited to get a chance to do so. But I have periods where I have no ideas, so I put it off for as long as possible. I don't like it, but sometimes it happens. I can honestly say this is not due to procrastination or simple laziness, but the lack of ideas. It can be hard to generate new content if nothing in particular happens that day or you are swamped with work.
But like I said, that stuff is just excuses, and I will continue trying to make posts interesting and new as I go along. It just might take me awhile sometimes. 

Chocolate

Did you know chocolate is vegan? Not milk chocolate of the sort available in supermarkets and conveniences stores, though some of these are so processed and artificial that they contain no animal products(!) of any kind. Rather, I am referring to dark chocolate, specifically the purer forms. Because it is low on ingredients (typically less than 10), it can be a good way to satisfy my sugar cravings, which are extremely hard to fill without getting dairy or egg involved. I have tried vegan desserts, and some are good, but they are on the whole not moist enough for my liking.

I'm sure you've heard about the health benefits, and how pure dark chocolate (70% purity or so) will provide you with antioxidants. But what I've learned as well is that it contains a very high amount of iron per serving. In the kind I have been buying, it has 30% iron in about four squares, which is utterly astounding to me. Without meat, any reliable high source of protein or iron is hard to come by. Yes, it has sugar in it, but it is unprocessed, non-refined sugar. Or so I keep telling myself!

This is really just a rant about the benefits of chocolate as well as one of the best things I have found about being vegan. I found a way to indulge my sweet tooth and add a vital source of iron to my diet all at once!

Confession

I cannot tell a lie. It took until March, but I was finally unable to keep my vow and abstain from the object of one of my monthly challenges. I went and had dinner at a friend's place just a couple of nights ago. Everything was great, except I had completely forgot to tell him I was eating vegan. Rather than tell him last minute, I instead opted to keep my mouth shut, since he tends towards vegetable heavy meals anyway.
Well, dinner proved to be no problem, as it was a stir fry dish. He has some young kids who were not overly fond of eggplant (a big component of the meal) so I cannily traded the chicken in my dish for their eggplant and maintained the integrity of the March challenge.

Unfortunately, I forgot about dessert. I have had a real cookie craving, and a gingerbread cookie is next to impossible to resist. And I couldn't. So I consumed something that had an egg in it. I didn't really think about it, but I should have. At least I can say it was made with a soya margarine, and so still haven't had any dairy. Nor have I had any meat, just the egg. I really thought I would have slipped up sooner when I started, but now I feel a bit bummed that I made it this far and screwed up. I thought I would be able to maintain a perfect clean record. Some things just aren't meant to be.

Milk

Now that I have a tolerably good vegan cheese and desserts that are butter-free, I can safely narrow my down my dairy longings to simply milk. Although there are a plethora of non-cow related options to replace milk and cream, I have long since exhausted them as viable options. While I am quite fond of soy milk and chocolate soy in particular, I have not ever found an almond milk or coconut milk that I liked. At least, liked past a few sips.

Soy is a reasonable alternative, but I have grown tired of the texture of it. And the fact I am drinking it in place of milk in a glass as well as in my coffee. It lacks a variety of flavor and it simply doesn't mix as well as milk or cream into a cup of coffee. I can drink whole glasses of it, but it doesn't satisfy my craving real milk the way soy cheese satiates my cheese craving. There just doesn't seem to be anything comparable, and it is driving me a little nuts. But other than that, things are a-ok!          

Habits

Unlike previous months, the problem so far has not been "how can I go on," but rather "why should I go on". I'm not trying to cause offends when I ask that question, I merely mean that it has forced me to consider a whole lifestyle I had never really considered before. Kudos for that, but that consideration has also caused me to reject it as well.

I was hoping at the outset that veganism would force me into a more healthy lifestyle due a distinct lack of options. My diet has gotten healthier, but I am still very able to consume things that are bad for me, even if they are not quite as bad for me (e.g. vegan chicken nuggets). Yet I am developing habits of eating that no longer require high fat or high salt additions. While this is a definite plus, I am not sure how long these learned habits will continue with the restrictions removed.

Simulacrum

I live a simulated existence. Not only do I consume soya milk with my coffee every morning, I have fake cheese in my fridge at all times. Today, I learned about about and purchased fake pepperoni, made without meat. Let's be honest, I've a solid pizza craving for a week now, and I'm desperate to try anything that will satiate the craving.

Fake cheese wasn't much of an adjustment, truth be told. It's different but not radically so. Like I said, after awhile, I doubt I would remember what real cheese tasted like. And the same is true of fake pepperoni. It is shockingly close to eating the real deal. In fact, I bought some turkey pepperoni a couple of months ago and it definitely is more flavorful. And that was actual meat! Of course, I'm sure regular pepperoni is probably comprised of garbage parts of animals and is subject to tons of processing, so recreating it probably isn't a stretch if you're also processing it. I think it's like hot dogs; it's essentially a fake thing already so making an artificial copy can't be too hard.

But I suppose that's my point of the day. If I am going to eat heavily processed food bent to resemble or taste like foods I used to eat, then why bother? Why not just eat a real hotdog? I know, I know, it's also more healthy to eat the vegan version. But the fact is I rarely bought processed foods in my groceries, opting instead for the organic or more natural versions of products. Now processed foods are in my grocery bag constantly. Thus the simulated life. I could live with eating real cheese, but I'm not so sure about the processed fake stuff.

Animal Style

Because of vegan cheese, I feel I have successfully mastered the vegan diet. Perhaps not the lifestyle, but mostly the diet. While I find eating to be relatively stress free, I have tried not to think to much upon avoiding animal products in everyday life. I am staying away from obvious examples like furs and cosmetics, but I would have little cause to use or buy those anyway. I have heard tales of animal testing on all sorts of products, so for the most part, I have avoided purchasing really anything that might be a contaminant.
I haven't forgotten meat, dairy or all the other delicious non vegan items. I miss them, but I don't feel like I need them in the same gut wrenching, visceral way I wanted sugar or coffee. This is because there are many, many workarounds in a vegan diet, substitutes that actually substitute.

So I am adapting, and even thriving. But I believe this is only because it is temporary. I feel if I actually adapted this lifestyle long term, it would only be a matter of time before I cracked. But not yet!

Faux

Today I tried some kind of faux chicken nuggets that were totally vegan and I had an epiphany. Previously, I had not properly understood the concept of fake recreation of non vegan dishes.  To me, you could never recreate the taste or flavour of a meat food. So why even try?

Well, I have my answer. I didn't really think of the context in which someone would want to eat such a thing. No, a fake chicken nugget does not taste precisely the same as a regular one. But it does taste pretty damn close, and if you have made the permanent switch over to veganism it can be quite comforting to have a taste of an old favorite. I mean, I've only been at this for a couple of weeks, and it did a fine job of tricking me. After a year or so without the real deal, I'm sure my memory and taste buds would connive and trick me to the point I couldn't tell the difference.

As a meat eater, you would probably not be fooled by these soy based nuggets. But let's face it, you knew they weren't for you anyway.

Restaurant Woes

Today we had a problem that has somehow not occurred yet. We went to a late dinner to have a meal, and the only thing on the menu I was able to eat was pizza and fries. If pizza is an option, I normally have no issue. But as it happens, I had pizza for lunch and did not relish the idea of another no cheese pizza. Being hungry, I still wanted to eat and suggested we leave. But my girlfriend, who was (evidently) sick of the whole vegan thing, did not want to leave.

I have attempted to be aware of this, and not drag her into my own made up bullshit. She has been unflinchingly supportive, and so far I have attempted to minimize the impact these monthly challenges have on my life and on hers. Until this month of veganism, I have been largely successful. But it is far more restrictive to eat and prepare food that is animal-free in all ways.

Nonetheless, she felt responsible in a weird way for my eating habits. And when I suggested we leave a restaurant due to a lack of options, it was a bridge too far. So I backed down, and ordered some fries. I didn't want to punish her for my own decisions, and I will continue to do so. After all, this is all just made up!

Hogtown Vegan: A Review

Since I first floated the idea of going vegan, friends have been telling me about the Hogtown Vegan. They recreate meat dishes! You can get vegan fish and chips! Or chicken and waffles!

I must admit, I was skeptical. Yet I love trying new, different, and weird food, so I knew it would only be a matter of time before I ventured forth. Today, my cravings for more traditionally greasy cuisine led me to their door, and the results were..satisfying. At least, at first.

The dishes are all vegan takes on traditional greasy spoon fare. "Fish and Chips". "Unchicken and Waffles". "Bacon Cheeseburger". To be clear: the quotation marks are from their menu, not placed there by me. You've never seen a menu with so many quotation marks in your life! I am well aware I am in a vegan restaurant, there's no need to worry that I will confuse a vegan entree with the real meaty deal. A restaurant that serves meat doesn't call a veggie burger a "hamburger"; it's simply understood.

In any case, a lot of the options looked enticing, and I had a hard time deciding. Would it be the Hot Roast "Beef" Sandwich? The Southern combo? Chili "Cheese" Fries? Ultimately, my girlfriend and I settled on the Shiitake Fried "Clams" (deep fried and breaded mushrooms) as a appetizer. We followed with the Unchicken and Waffles for her and the Southern Combo for me (more on that momentarily).

As our app arrived, it looked very delicious and very much like deep fried clams. But my girlfriend and I disagreed on the result. I quite enjoyed it, as I was aware it would be mushroom inside and could enjoy it as a passable imitation of a delicious meat dish. But she did not read up on it, and did not realize it was a mushroom, resulting in a bit of a letdown. This is the big problem with vegan restaurants: if you don't know what the base of the food is (e.g. soy, lentil, tempeh, etc.), your mind has an expectation that it will taste similar to the food it is imitating. It does not. Ever. Except for maybe the first couple of bites, then your stomach starts to shriek. It knows you're trying to trick it, and it is not happy about it!

We received our meals shortly thereafter. Unchicken and waffles is a meal of deep fried and breaded soy sticks (like chicken fingers) with corn waffles, collard greens, sweet potato mash, and covered in what the menu calls (quotations mine this time!) "Spiced syrup". Notice they don't say maple anywhere. My meal was faux chicken strips, also with collard greens, and a side of mac 'n "cheese" (theirs again!).

What can I say about this meal? It was all about the first bite. As I said earlier, you can initially trick your taste buds into thinking you're actually eating what the meal pretends to be, but the illusion is quickly shattered. Nonetheless, the faux chicken on both our plates (essentially the same thing on both plates but one had syrup) were surprisingly crispy and tasty. Just like chicken, but different. You'd have to try it for yourself, but it's like someone prepared a dish of food based on your description instead of a recipe. Not quite right.

The side dishes were all passable, but except the collard greens (the only side not pretending to be something it's not) we quickly grew tired of them. I enjoyed them all, and was quite satisfied, but wouldn't want to eat them again. But they make good once in a lifetime flavours.

Perhaps I exaggerate slightly. But were I a full-time vegan, it would be the type of place I would only visit sporadically, as I feel I would quickly grow tired of the menu. Besides, after we had finished our food, both of us felt bloated and seasick. I suspect this was due to the sameness of flavour and texture that dominated the meal. The food left you with a greasy feeling that made the smell of other dishes arriving at other tables not just unpalatable, but nauseating. If you are a vegan, your restaurant options are severely limited. This restaurant is a godsend in that you can fulfill a craving without indulging in animal product. But I doubt this will convert many doubters.

Cookbook Blues (or how I haven't learned to stop eating and prepare a meal)

Although I have been fairly good this month and not had any intentional slipups. And yet so far, this month's challenge has been a bit of a failure.

The reason I am attempting to do these monthly challenges (besides curiosity and general interest) is to eliminate those things in my life, albeit temporarily, that I feel I am addicted to or on which I am overly reliant. I definitely consumed too many sugary foods, and drank too much coffee. Yes, I probably ate a lot of animal product in my day to day life, but what I have really eliminated was fast food. The grab and go options that I would consume almost daily are almost all gone. I mean, I could still order up some fries if I really wanted them, but that option seems particularly dull to me just now.

Yet there is another side to these challenges. Eliminating something is one aspect, but adding something to my every day life is also a part of it. Instead of sugar, I consumed more fruit and sugary vegetables to get my fix. Instead of coffee, I drank more liquids to maintain the habit, even if it wasn't quite the same. This month, the plan was to force myself to prepare my own food more often. There are vegan restaurants out there but they are all rather limited. For sheer variety's sake, I would need to cook and prepare my own food. Perhaps even every day. This hasn't come to pass.

So what happened? Work. Unlike most of y'all out there, I work three separate jobs, all requiring different time, physical, and mental commitments. I am and have been almost constantly on the go, leaving me little time for petty things like sleep or even eating. Today, for example, I went from one job directly to another and ate a pre-prepared lunch (consisting of dinner leftovers) while I worked at job 2. During my rare time off (such as now), I feel utterly incapable of preparing a meal, and lack the ingredients to do so anyway.
Hopefully, things will settle down soon and I will be able to fulfill the other half of my entirely self-imposed contract. Time will tell.

Take-out

Eating out has become far more of a chore now that I am a vegan. As anyone who special dietary restrictions knows, it is very easy to control what goes into your food when you are at home. But it is much harder to know when you are in the larger world. I enjoy eating out; it is practically a hobby for me. If you've ever walked past a fast food outlet or supermarket novelty and wondered "Who buys meat-flavored Shreddies covered in chocolate?", the answer is me. ALWAYS me, the moment I see it. Not only will I but it if it looks gross, I will buy it because it looks gross. I have an insatiable need to know its secrets.

That option has largely been taken away from me. SO many foods contain either butter, milk, or some other derivation/variation of dairy that it is near-impossible to avoid. So a lot of the gross, easy to access foods that I leaned on for hunger support are gone. There is no easy way out.

Of course, there are a number of fine vegan restaurants in the city to visit and try and I love all the food that comes from them. But one cannot afford the higher premiums required to dine at them for every meal. And I have had mixed success from vegan grab and go options thus far (A cold vegan wrap left me feeling very blue while avocado and rice supermarket sushi is my new favorite thing).

So I am learning to expand my repertoire. This is a good thing. I even bought and ate some vegan cheese today. With some simple tomato sauce ( and soy protein, sort of like ground beef in taste and texture), I had a nice little pizza. Vegan cheese is..passable, let's say. It's certainly nothing like real cheese, but it isn't quite as bad as processed cheese either. If I had to describe it, it's somewhere right in between the two. It'll do, it'll do.

Toilet Troubles

My body is out of whack. Sorry to backtrack, but ever since I gave up coffee I have been a lot less regular. Caffeine acts as a diuretic that makes you need to use the bathroom. Without it, I felt a definite decrease in the frequency of washroom trips. I would go half as often, but when I did go, it was a long and drawn out affair. It would basically only happen after I had eaten; then, the previous meal would come knocking.

This month has caused a similar conundrum. With the reintroduction of coffee into my diet as well as a huge increase in leafy greens and other highly fibrous foods, I am always going. Or so it seems. And my body doesn't seem to know if it's coming or going.

That's been another constant that has been hard to articulate: the crazy sense of withdrawal I get when I have given something up. It sends my body into a tailspin after the first 4-5 days, then again around day 20 or so. day 5 is physical withdrawal, and day 20 is a mental one. In either case, I do adapt. The interesting thing is watching your relationship change with something like coffee. Let be be clear: I still believe coffee to be a healthy and necessary part of my diet. Just not to the crazy extent it had been. And that's what actually keeps me motivated: watching how different I become at the end of the month as opposed to the beginning. Things that seemed totally necessary have gone back to being fun additions. The very fact I go through a withdrawal shows me how necessary it is to remove these elements from my life! 

Dairy Blues

I miss cheese and milk.

Giving up on eating meat has been surprisingly easy. As I've said, I love to eat. Therefore avoiding meat is relatively eady to avoid if I simply eat other food instead. Peanut butter is a staple to me, so I am eating much more of it lately to get my protein intake. I've also massively increased my intake of nuts and beans, as well as avocado. I still miss meat and crave it. But when I'm full, I'm full.

It's different with dairy. Unlike meat, I have almost constant cravings for cheese, milk, and butter that simply cannot be assuaged with soy or other oils. Vegan is as tasty as any other, but I haven't really delved into soy cheeses as of yet. I've had bad experiences with them so far; every type I've had so far is dry and tasteless.

Nothing that should have cheese is quite the same without it. A pizza ceases to be a pizza, and I am already very sick of coffee with soy. But I soldier on! It can only get better (especially if I get a chance to prepare meals myself!)

Conundrum

Do vegans wear wool?

I mean, I know the answer: no, because it's an animal product, and they are opposed on principal to utilizing them. But I feel they should. Sheep, due to human tampering with their genetics, now require human intervention in order to help them live. Their coats have been bred to be too think and luscious, and without shearing they will swelter in the heat and die. So not only is human shearing good for sheep, it's saving their lives.

But that's only an argument for shearing, not fashion. But I ask: if you must shear them for their own good, it must be ok to wear their fur. It would just go to waste otherwise. I really get why people avoid eating animals, and the environmental hazard caused by for-slaughter meat production. But I mean, wouldn't it therefore be fine to eat a cow that died of old age? It lived out its life, and now has no opinion one way or the other. Because I can envision a scenario in which I could see it as acceptable to use or consume animal products ethically, I cannot view either viewpoint as completely good or evil.

I freely admit, it has been much easier than I thought possible to make the switch. I could conceivable live the rest of my life without ever eating meat again and be completely happy. But I would never want to give up animal products entirely, presuming they are ethically raised. It is simply too hard, and requires far too much vigilance to commit to for a lifetime. I'm willing to bet even the strictest vegan has moments of lapsed judgement where they have a surreptitious cheese pizza, or dessert made with butter or cream. It is easy to make a judgement call and say killing animals is wrong, period. I think it's a lot harder to justify if the animal is still alive.

Manifesto

I want to be clear: I am not taking a moral stand by going vegan.

I understand the arguments against eating meat, and why a lot of people feel it is immoral or plain evil to kill and consume an animals. I understand the cramped cages, the factory farming, how people feel an intimate connection with animals. I comprehend and support these views, but I don't necessarily share them.

Plain and simple, I like eating meat. It is delicious. But that alone is not reason to eat them. I also believe there are ethical ways to raise animals for human consumption. This can include (but are not limited to) grass-few cows, organic meat, free-range chickens, and using local animals. I believe being vegan is sort of self-serving, in that it doesn't really address the issue of factory farming or bad animal handling practices. Instead, it merely assuages the conscience of someone who is opposed to said animal treatment. It is similar to saying one is cynical about the voting process and therefore doesn't vote. It is ultimately self-serving, allowing the abstainee to pat themselves on the back for their good behaviour, and failing to actually change the flaw in the system. Like it or not, a meat producer is not going to stop slaughtering pigs simply because some people don't consume them. Unless you can orchestrate a world-wide boycott, which is implausible enough to be ludicrous.

And is that even the end goal? A totally vegan world, where no one anywhere consumes any sort of meat or animal product? Short of a massive food crisis, or dictatorial decree, I can't imagine a scenario where that plays out. But let's assume it did. No one is raising animals for slaughter any longer. Why do we do with them all? Do these domesticated animals simply return to the wild, to be slaughtered again by wild predators and scavengers? Do we keep farms going as strange petting zoos, a sort of colonial village of life in the olden days?

I have no answers, and I have never heard anything addressing such issues, only sanctimonious griping about the product. You can't sit on the sidelines and orchestrate change. Vote for the reform you want to see, with your dollars and your convictions. That's how global movements are truly born.

A Sense Of Balance

So far, the vegan lifestyle is suiting me very well. Although I am forced to restrict my diet in a weird way, it feels like there is a lot less pressure this month. No animal products in my food has made me extra observant about what food I am consuming. For instance, I make sure to drink plenty of soy milk every day, since there is absolutely no chance of accidentally getting a serving of calcium or vitamin D in my diet. Ditto for protein. I have to MAKE it happen, or it won't. Previously, if I ate something bad for me (like a Big Mac or something) I could justify in some way by saying I was getting some (but not much) of each food group.

But even though there is less pressure, I also feel more anxiety about trying to get everything into my day, like my bones will crack apart and fall out if I don't get enough dairy one day. A good coping mechanism so far is to find a food I am allowed to eat a lot of and gorge on it. I'm not going to say I don't get cravings for meat, but those only really last as long as you are hungry. If you get all the nutrients your body needs in a day, your cravings stop dead once you're full. I just wish I could find an easy source of vegan dessert!

Protein Hunter

Veganaise, made without egg. Soya yogurt, without milk. Tempeh bacon, without meat. The road to veganism is a bumpy one.

Before I get into that, let me say that my first coffee after the February long draught was everything I hoped. I used soy milk of course, which I think I prefer, as it gives the coffee a nutty taste and texture. I felt energized for most of the day and my mood was instantly elevated. But that was last month's challenge, and on with the show!

I woke up late and had to hurry out of the house without breakfast. Typically in this scenario, I would stop at the McDonald's or coffee shop across the way and grab a cream cheese bagel or a fatty sausage and egg english muffin. I knew I had no such option, so before I left I grabbed a tupperware with some almonds. It sufficed, but did not satisfy.

I was starving hungry by lunch, and was craving pizza. I had a veggie option, sans cheese, which was a new experience. Without dairy, the pizza was a lot lighter and more refreshing while still being filling.  In fact, it was filling enough that I didn't end up eating a dinner at all, except for a bowl of olive oil popcorn. I don't expect every day to be this easy, but so far it has been a cakewalk.

Of course, I am aware I have said this or something similar at the beginning of each month. So we will wait and see.