I hadn't realized it sooner, but I don't spend my time well. This is not to say I waste it, but that I am very likely to fall into patterns of behavior that become habits. I am very prone to continuing to do a task I enjoy until the point it no longer becomes enjoyable anymore. For instance, when I worked as a server, I would get home late at night, and fell into watching TV or catching up on a show to unwind after a late night. Well, a single hour would lead to two, and then three. Eventually I was staying up until 4, 5, or even six in the morning just binge watching stuff. And that wasn't me at college age, but my more recent, supposedly more mature age!
It got to the point that I wasn't waking up until noon at the earliest. I tried to break the pattern, but found I had created a vicious habit and cycle. It was hard to go to bed before 2 because I just wasn't tired. And it didn't have lingering consequences to my life at that time, since I worked at night and was single. My motivation to reform was easily sapped. Eventually, school and a different job conspired to force me to amend my habits, but it was a long and slow process. I had many a night of very little sleep in preparation for an 8am class, where I simply could not sleep.
I bring this up because I am aware of how I have become so attached to the idea of down-time after work that I have fallen into the same habit of coming home after work and immediately vegetating. Yes, now I am reading instead of binge watching. But again, I am maintaining the bad habit that I wished to avoid nonetheless. The only difference now is I feel more likely to get up and move around after a bit of reading. Reading is great, and can separate you from the outside world. But I find it hard to completely zone out in the same way. Hopefully I can maintain this new behavior, with enough practice.
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